A cautonary tale for whales – they could live for ever, but only if they let Maori rip out their jaws

January 20, 2013

Dunno if the whale that has been beached near Invercargill is in a position to take Alf’s advice.

But the advice is to get the hell out of there and head back to sea.

Otherwise – once the whale is dead – DOC will hand it over to local Maori, and the local Maori will be ripping out its jawbone.

And the local Maori will earnestly tell the rest of us how they are being very respectful to the whale and how, actually, if they can rip out its jawbone, it will live on forever as a bit of carving.

The whale’s plight is reported here.

Volunteers spent hours trying to get the bugger back into the ocean but it became re-stranded this afternoon.

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Be very wary, if you inject Maori imagery into your promotion – you could be accused of theft

November 2, 2012

Carel Thompson-Teepa … so what would she make of the Warriors’ sponsor?

The tossers who dump Pakeha place names to replace them with Maori place names are doing their bit to make this country distinctive by emphasising the importance of its Maori minority.

Likewise, if Alf has observedcorrectly, there is a great urge among growing numbers of non-Maori to learn the Maori language.

And to adopt Maori culture.

But anyone who adopts Maori words or elements of Maori culture must be very, very wary.

They are apt to be accused of all sorts of heinous crimes, including cultural theft.

You can find the earnest efforts of a Maori researcher to study the phenomenon of the Kiwi love affair with Maori culture here.

The researcher was Carel Thompson-Teepa, a Ngati Porou sheila by all accounts.

And a comely sheila, too, if Alf can be forgiven giving an opinion.

Anyway, she wrote:

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Co-governance is tricky: the right tone must be struck and all iwi kept on side

March 18, 2012

A source of disharmony.

Mrs Grumble has drawn your hard-working MP’s attention to a fuss in the capital that he overlooked during his news monitoring yesterday.

It’s a useful – and ominous – pointer to what Alf foresees happening under the Treaty-based co-governance arrangements now being spawned around the country.

It shows the need to strike the right tone when you take up a few niggling issues with your co-governance partner.

Otherwise the other party might spit the dummy and become uncooperative.

Moreover if you are an iwi leader, you must not piss off other Maori or things become awfully complicated.

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Taxpayers will avoid a capital farce by putting ownership of a plastic waka directly into Maori hands

April 6, 2011

If they built a waka similar to this, which end would be the bow?

The Herald today is headlining a story about another handout to hapu.

The opening paragraph of the report says the Government’s gift of almost $2 million to the hapu to build a plastic waka for the Rugby World Cup has drawn outrage from some MPs.

But outrage, or any response of a critical nature, is bound to be the stuff of sour-grapes politicking from pissed off Opposition MPs who wish they had thought of it first.

The money being extracted from your pockets and mine, dear constituent, is going to a good cause.

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Another ministry that wouldn’t be missed

July 29, 2009

The best question asked in parliament today didn’t pass muster with Mr Speaker, and hence was not answered.

It was raised during a series of questions and answers prompted by the Maori Party’s Rahui Katene, who asked the Minister for Arts, Culture and Heritage if it is Government policy to support the recognition of indigenous celebrations as being of benefit for all New Zealanders. And if so, why?
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