Health and safety despots scuttle Xmas lolly scrambles but the UK gives OK to Fruitizz

While Britain’s food Nazis have suffered a setback, the safety despots in this country have taken a bit more of the fun out of Christmas.

Brandishing their absurd health and safety rule books, the tossers have scuttled an Auckland tradition of throwing lollies and squirting water at the crowd during Christmas parades.

The Herald tells us of their tyrannical nonsense here.

People entering floats in this year’s Orewa New World Santa Parade have been warned by the parade organisers that wrapped sweets must not be thrown from floats or thrown into the spectator crowd by clowns and others walking alongside.

There will also be a ban on water pistols and water bombs and missiles being used on floats or by walkers.

The story says the Kumeu Rotary Santa Parade has $1200 of lollies to hand out during its December 7 event.

Hand out is the operative word here.

Good old-fashioned lolly scrambles have been banned by Auckland Council’s grinches.

Burgered by its WiFi policy – McDonald’s must be careful not to re-ignite protests back in the USA

McDonald's will be mindful of this as they muse on allegations of discrimination Down Under

Alf is appalled by the gall of some people (poofters and lesbians, in this case).

They are able to take advantage of a free service, but complain they have been short-changed.

These contemptible ingrates – when they go to McDonald’s restaurants for a burger and fries or some of that good-health tucker now available – can tap into the internet if they want. For free.

It’s a nice little extra service that the food chain provides.

But are the poofters pleased?

Nah. The buggers are dismayed to find they can’t tap into so-called “gay” websites.

So they are publicly denouncing the restaurant for the shortcomings in a service that is provided for free.

Don’t fly off to the media with your larvae – make a mint from your maggots instead

The reputation of maggots has been sullied in the Herald today with another of those stories about pissed-off people finding one of these magnificent creatures in their tucker.

This time we are told of a healthcare worker who was “disgusted” after finding a maggot in her McDonald’s burger box.

Linda MacDonald, a mental health carer, had just finished eating an Angus Burger Combo, which she bought from the Pt Chevalier McDonald’s, when a colleague she shared the burger with pointed out something “wiggling” in the box.

The 59-year-old Auckland grandmother spat out her remaining mouthful and ran to the toilet to throw up.

Burgeoning burger business good for jobs

A deal struck between Work and Income and McDonalds sounds great to Alf, which means we can count on it being dumped on by Greenie grouch Sue Kedgley. He’s surprised she hasn’t issued her condemnatory press release already.

Under the deal, thousands of beneficiaries could soon be flipping burgers, to provide customers with food they want regardless of Kedgley’s daft dietary demands.

The urge to munch burgers is so great – it seems – that McDonald’s is aiming to open 30 new restaurants over the next five years.

Social Development Minister Paula Bennett revealed the agreement during a select committee meeting at Parliament yesterday. The agreement will provide up to 7000 unemployed for the fast-food chain’s restaurant expansion plans over the next five years.