Alf was more than a bit miffed, when Radio Eketahuna (also known as 2ZE FM) declined his suggestion they give him a stint behind the microphone for a few hours a month or so ago.
He promised his chat show would be an election-free zone – he would steer clear of political stuff and talk instead about his cat, Coronation Street, Mrs Grumble’s gardening prowess and the secret of her prize-winning pumpkins, how to pour a whisky and so on.
He would conduct a few interviews with the likes of Colin Meads, The Mad Butcher and Fred Dagg.
Buckingham Palace advised him Her Majesty never did media interviews with anybody as a matter of strict principle and hence would not be available.
Never mind. Alf hoped to get Lucy Lawless in her stead.
He thought this idea was a shoo-in.