Keeping admirably mum about Mike and the cops and the murky matter of who said what to whom

February 10, 2015

Mrs Grumble phoned during the boring bit of Parliamentary proceedings today to recommend giving a Sergeant Schultz award to Police Minister Michael Woodhouse.

Woodhouse won plaudits from her for his skill at saying nothing about his role in the Mike Sabin matter.

Well, almost nothing.

He  refused – again – to confirm whether he was briefed by Police about Sabin.

‘But he  said he was “absolutely” confident he had handled the situation properly.

If he handled the matter properly without being briefed by the Police, of course, he is entitled to another award, this one for  prowess in the Police portfolio while being kept in the dark.

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No, we aren’t all at fault for dangerous forests and headline writers who say otherwise should be sacked

November 1, 2014
If people stay out they won't be hurt.

If people stay out they won’t be hurt.

Alf will be taking up the matter of a new law to punish headline writers who mislead their readers.

We already have laws to deal with misleading advertising.

Why not laws to deal with misleading headlines?

The thought has crossed Alf’s mind on many previous occasions, but was reignited by something he spotted in the NZ Herald today:

Dangerous forests everyone’s fault: report

“Bugger me,” your hard-working member was prompted to fret.

“What have I done to make our forests dangerous?”

The answer, of course, is nothing and he soon became irked that he had needlessly suffered pangs of guilt.

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The Cabinet Club here in Eketahuna North is focused more on tippling than peddling influence

May 9, 2014

Good old Tau has summed things up pretty nicely when he says Opposition attacks on National Party fundraisers, where individuals can pay for access to ministers, is Labour Party envy.

Alf is bound to say he was deeply disappointed by Labour and NZ First attacks on the Government yesterday and their claims to have proof that The Boss was involved in talks to ease citizenship restrictions for wealthy foreign investors.

As Stuff explains here, those allegations came out of reports on National Party events run throughout the country, called Cabinet Clubs.

Labour can’t have Cabinet Clubs because they are in opposition. They are bound to stay there, too.

They could try running Shadow Cabinet Clubs, of course, although Alf can’t imagine why anyone would talk to the shadowy buggers who would be the best they could provide by way of star turns.

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Don’t bother smiling in taxis: there’s a fair chance you won’t be caught by the security camera

July 8, 2013

It looks like the taxi industry is trying to take someone for a ride.

It is reported to be fearful that an increase in violent attacks on drivers will result from criminals becoming aware that as many as half the security cameras installed in cabs do not work properly.

Let’s have a replay of this concern.

The industry is fearful that criminals will wake up to the fact that as many as half the security cameras installed in cabs don’t work properly.

Accordingly there will be an increase in violent attacks on drivers.

Yep. The nature of the concern is all too apparent.

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Furious Finns flay Gerry for being ill-informed – but clearly they found his whimsy unfunny –

March 26, 2012

The Finns apparently can't duck out for a cup of coffee at Starbucks?

Gotta feel for old Gerry today.

The poor bugger is copping a great deal of flak over his comments that Finnish people are uneducated and disrespectful to women.

A Stuff report says his remarks have sparked outrage and made headlines in the European nation, although Alf can not verify this because he does not read Finnish newspapers.

Hence he is reliant on the aforementioned report at Stuff, which is somewhat discomforting, because no-one at Stuff (Alf imagines) reads Finnish either.

And so they are reliant on the fulminations of a few furious Finns.

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