Don’t sniff too closely at our bridge upgrade plans – think instead of the scents of going for broke

March 9, 2015

pork-barrel-316
Roll out the barrel..

That was Alf’s advice when party chiefs consulted him at the weekend on how to counter the Peters threat.

No, he was not talking about rolling out the beer barrel to liquor up the locals. That would be bribery and bribery is seriously frowned upon in our electoral laws.

Alf was recommending we roll out the pork barrel.

Pork barreling, of course, is a term used to describe the appropriation of government spending for localised projects secured solely or primarily to bring money to a representative’s district.

Alf has recommended this tactic before, and the party bosses have listened.

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Keeping admirably mum about Mike and the cops and the murky matter of who said what to whom

February 10, 2015

Mrs Grumble phoned during the boring bit of Parliamentary proceedings today to recommend giving a Sergeant Schultz award to Police Minister Michael Woodhouse.

Woodhouse won plaudits from her for his skill at saying nothing about his role in the Mike Sabin matter.

Well, almost nothing.

He  refused – again – to confirm whether he was briefed by Police about Sabin.

‘But he  said he was “absolutely” confident he had handled the situation properly.

If he handled the matter properly without being briefed by the Police, of course, he is entitled to another award, this one for  prowess in the Police portfolio while being kept in the dark.

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Sorry to hear Mike Sabin is quitting but let’s look on the bright side for law and order

January 30, 2015

 

And if we can't find a stretch  of clean water - too bad.

And if we can’t find a stretch of clean water – too bad.

Alf has been hugely heartened by the opportunity which opened today for him to replace Mike Sabin as chairman of the select committee that deals with law and order matters. It’s a great chance to promote a harder stance on crime and criminals.

Sabin, of course, has been at the centre of reports he is being investigated by police over an alleged assault.

Alf would have thought an alleged assault is easily investigated. He is bothered at having to suppose that, if there has been such an investigation, the matter of who did what to whom has taken a helluva long time to sort out.

Trouble is, Mike became awfully circumspect about the the matter and The Boss’s silence hasn’t helped stem the flow of conjecture and rumour.

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The only blemish to be found on Mike Sabin (so far as is known here in Eketahuna) are his tattoos

December 22, 2014

Alf would be mortified if anything amiss has happened to terminate the three-year political career of National Northland MP Mike Sabin.

He’s a good bloke, in Alf’s book, although he would be a much better one if he had bypassed the tats.

But according to the NZ Herald his political career is in the balance.

The Boss, who normally is keen to talk about anything he knows about (and things he knows nothing about too) is being chary.

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