Dwarfs are thrown by tossers but – worse – are dropped from the BBC’s vocubulary

January 14, 2012

He had an unfortunate encounter with a Pommy tosser.

Alf has brought the BBC into his blog for the second successive day.

But whereas yesterday his interest was triggered by a boorish broadcaster’s dragging New Zealand into his badinage, today he will berate the Beeb for being much too bloody precious.

Its avoidance of simple English so as not to offend dwarfs is best illustrated by examining how other media have headlined reports of the same event on their web sites.

Top marks for succinctly summing things up go to Newser: Tosser Cripples Dwarf.

The Sydney Morning Herald headlined its story with Dwarf left wheelchair-bound after being dropped on night out celebrating his birthday.

Scenic Queenstown highlighted the local angle: Dwarf blames Queenstown bar antics for inspiring attack.

The Week tells us: Paralysed dwarf blames England’s Mike Tindall for his injuries.

But the BBC is much more coy: Man with restricted growth injured in street attack.

It kicks off its report –

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Mike Tindall gets the boot from the England rugby squad – but he deserves a bloodier axing

November 12, 2011

Given the boot ... former England Rugby captain Mike Tindall leaves his Cheltenham home with wife Zara Phillips.

The England rugby squad has been rid of a right royal plonker.

Betcha the Royal Family wish they were rid him of him too.

The embarrassment caused them by the antics of Mike Tindall, who a few months ago married Her Majesty’s grand-daughter, Zara Phillips,is the sort of thing that comes from Royalty marrying commoners.

There was a time when Tindall would have had his head lopped off for besmirching the reputation of the Royals.

Alf would have volunteered his services as axeman, if that penalty remained on the books.

These thoughts on the insidious thinning of good royal blood are triggered by news that –

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