Schools are entitled to be rid of bad apples – and must be pipped off when they have to take ’em back

But some students might have slipped a bit of cyanide into it.

Alf has been gobsmacked by the latest madness from the mandarins at the Ministry of Education.

He shouldn’t have been. Their madness is chronic and they can’t help themselves.

But now schools are being ordered to re-enrol some brats, delinquents and assorted ratbags they thought they were rid of because they were tossed out for bad behaviour including carrying weapons, physical assaults and drug use.

At least, that’s what we learn today from the NZ Herald.

In the past year, there have been 11 incidences where the Ministry of Education has directed a school to take back a student previously excluded.

The cases involved eight schools and students aged from 11 to 15, information released to the Herald reveals.

Naughty goings-on at a preschool child centre – and it wasn’t the kids who had sticky fingers

Gotta say the lofty language used to described the offences committed by the licensee of a preschool childcare centre is somewhat opaque.

This woman apparently overstated funding claims, resulting in overpayment by the Ministry of Education.

As a consequence she is facing restrictions on her ability to undertake school managerial positions.

But what was her crime?

Science teacher gets a lesson in biology: you’ll get it in the neck if you push the head too far

Alf shares The Whale’s disregard for school teachers, and has done so ever since one of the buggers gave him an E minus for maths at Eketahuna Primary School way back at a time when he was highly impressionable.

Mind you, he does not have a disregard for all school teachers.

He must confess to having fancied one or two of the lady teachers he has encountered in his day.

And he has great sympathy for the ones who are expected to grin and bear it when they are insulted, assaulted, tormented and so on by a modern generation of brat that, in Alf’s considered view, would benefit enormously from a bloody good thrashing.

Alas, today’s namby-pamby educationalists do not allow a teacher to give brats a bloody good thrashing, which is a great shame.

And so, having thought about it for a bit, Alf is prepared to concede that it’s only some teachers for whom he has a high disregard.

Don’t crack down too hard on school bullies – they could grow up to become the country’s leader

It looks like Australia has opened another gap on us.

But in more than one respect the matter at issue is not quite as the NZ Herald headline suggested.

It says “Kiwi schools falling behind in bullying”.

Alf was taken aback: does this mean other countries are better at bullying than we are?

And if so, is that bad for us – or good for us, in these namby-pamby times when poofs are getting married and brats who beat up their teachers are dealt with leniently but teachers who dish out a bit of corporal punishment are sacked?

But the bloody heading is misleading.

For starters, we are not falling behind with our bullying.

We are falling behind with measures in schools to combat bullying.

Our Minister of Corrections has some correcting to do about the somewhat mucky Mutu matter

And stay there until you can come up with an acceptable explanation.

Oh dear. Looks like Anne Tolley has not done her homework.

Our newly appointed Minister of Police today is being accused of misleading the public over what she knew – when she was Minister of Education – about a suspended school principal’s appointment as an expert adviser.

The NZ Herald today reports that Deborah Anne Mutu resigned as principal at Te Kura Kaupapa Maori o Kaikohe in 2008 after her husband John Hone Mutu was suspended by the school’s board of trustees the previous year.

She later worked for the Ministry of Education as an “expert” adviser to principals.

But her copybook has been well and truly blotted.

Alf learns today –

“Fat bastard” jibe sparks fuss about rights to education – but what about teachers’ rights?

So what should be done to a 12-year-old brat who called his teacher aide a “fat bastard” in front of classmates (after prevously being stood down for seven days for fighting with another student and accidentally elbowing a teacher who tried to break up the altercation)?

In the good old days a bloody good caning might have been appropriate, although expulsion probably would be better.

Ah, but it transpires this lad was spawned by a mum who has kicked up a fuss because he was suspended.

She is banging on about an abuse of his rights to an education.

But whoa there – when did publicly funded education become a “right”?

It’s a damned privilege, the way Alf sees it, and if you abuse the privilege, you lose it.

In this namby-world, of course, that opinion is regarded as seriously uncivilized.

Kapa haka has its place, but Gisborne kids’ place is at their school desks

A Gisborne school principal who is squawking about his charges being denied time off from their studies to attend a song-and-dance festival needs to think bloody hard about his priorities.

The bugger is reported to be riled after a request for schools in Tairawhiti to have time off during the Te Matatini o Te Ra Festival next year was refused.

It’s not fair, he reckons, because schools nationwide will come to a standstill for the Rugby World Cup.

The national kapa haka festival in February is expected to attract tens of thousands of people to Gisborne.

The school principal says he requested two days off for the “cultural importance” of the event.

Lytton High School principal Jim Corder says: “It seems to be appropriate to make changes for something like the Rugby World Cup but doesn’t seem to be appropriate to make allowances for events of cultural significance to the region.”

He sounds like a stroppy bugger, this Corder bloke.

The Code of Practice has been revised, but it doesn’t seem to deal with hosts being cuckolded

Bugger me, Alf muttered in his inimitable way on learning of yet another outrageous demand of our fiscally strapped public services.

A bloke on Auckland’s North Shore (and we should not be surprised to learn an Aucklander is involved) wants the Education Ministry to issue guidelines on sexual matters.

Alas, the report in the Herald does not make plain to whom this bloke believes the guidelines should be issued.

But Alf’s strong suspicion is that the bloke might want them issued to his missus, 45 years old and frisky, because he found her having sex with a teenage foreign student the couple were hosting.

Early childhood teaching is seized by madness

Dunno what the ministry mandarins think they are up to, but Alf is astonished to learn Anna Farrell’s story of being forced out of early childhood education.

It’s a story of a mindless adherence to a strategy crafted some eight years ago, and involves – as these things too often do in the education business – an obstinate teachers’ union.

Farrell holds a bachelor of education degree in primary teaching and has worked in early childhood centres for 16 years.

Let’s repeat that. She has worked in early childhood centres for 16 years.

In that time, she has gained a Playcentre certificate and a diploma in music for early childhood education, and done courses to keep her up to date with changes in the sector.

She has also raised a child.

However, because her bachelor’s degree is not specifically in early childhood education, and she does not have a diploma in it either, she is not classified as “qualified” under the Ministry of Education’s funding regime.

A nicely cooked policy

Green MP Sue Kedgley only ever looked good to Alf when she leapt into a sow crate for a photo opportunity some years back (actually, she was reported to have elbowed aside some Green colleagues for the privilege).

So he will quietly busy himself with something – like read his Dominion-Post – when she gets to quiz the Minister of Education at Question Time today.

Her question to Anne Tolley:

Did she seek advice from the Ministry of Health, the Ministry of Education, or Sport and Recreation New Zealand on her decision to remove the National Administrative Guideline requiring schools to sell only healthy food; if so, what concerns, if any, were raised?

It’s a huge waste of breath. Alf knows you don’t have to consult with all those people to come up with a good policy.

He wonders real hard about Kedgley and her preoccupations. The Department of Personal Opinions, before the 2008 election, credited her with having

“a commitment and passion for ensuring the food we eat is safe.”

Does anyone not worry about their food being safe?

Alf certainly does. But he doesn’t force his concerns on others or turn them into cumbersome regulations. He simply asks Mrs Grumble (nicely) to please sample his food before he tucks in.