Our Maori Prince shouldn’t feel too ashamed of his racist slur – British royals can do much the same

July 9, 2014


King Edward III later abdicated to marry one of the Simpsons.

King Edward III later abdicated to marry one of the Simpsons.

The Maori King's son is being given a raw deal, perhaps being judged by the standards of unfairly minded people rather than by the common-sense standards applied in the Grumble household.

Let's revise that. "Common" is not the word to be applied here, because the Grumbles are monarchists and apply monarchic standards to the behaviour of those with royal blood pumping through their privileged veins.

By this standard, there's nothing untoward in Prince Karotangi Paki's Facebook page containing racist comments.

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Why the court should have ignored the Mongrel Mob bit and focused on his indigenous status

December 14, 2013
The court hasn't recognised that his special qualities are more than skin deep.

Alas, the court hasn’t recognised the special qualities that are more than skin deep.

Oh dear.

We have some judges who aren’t up with the play about our indigenous citizens requiring special treatment.

A giant blow was struck in favour of these citizens on 20 April 2010, when Pita Sharples announced your Government’s decision to formalise its support for the UN Declaration on the Rights of Indigenous Peoples.

He said this would help to restore New Zealand’s mana in addressing indigenous rights.

Pita’s media statement included 16 points set out under an “Announcement of New Zealand’s Support for the Declaration on the Rights of Indigenous Peoples”.

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Do-gooder is wrong – the justice system worked very well in dealing with thuggish child rapist

March 1, 2012

Alf rejoiced when he learned Raurangi Mark Marino had been jailed for 10 years for raping a five-year-old girl as she slept inside her parents’ campervan just before Christmas.

He would have jailed the thug for 30 years or more. But 10 years will get the rascal off the streets for a while.

So what’s all this stuff from a tosser who says prison is not the right place for the teenage monster?

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If they are wearing red they must be members of the Mongrel Mob – right?

January 4, 2012

Here’s hoping the cops soon catch the tosser(s) who stabbed and beat a young man to within an inch of his life in Napier – apparently for wearing a red top.

If they are not caught and locked away for a long time, anyone wearing red will be at risk.

The 24-year-old victim of the New Year’s Day attack was stabbed in the abdomen and suffered significant head trauma and broken ribs in the attack.

The inquiry is headed by Acting Detective Senior Sergeant Emmet Lynch, who said a member of the public who had been in the area during the 2am attack had come forward.

This witness said the group responsible had been using gang language linked to Black Power.

Mr Lynch said neither of the victims had any gang associations and had not provoked the offenders in any way.

One of the pair had however been wearing a red top – the colours of the rival Mongrel Mob gang – and it was believed that sparked the attack.

Alf draws attention to the horrendous implications, when (os should we say “if”) Black Power thugs beat the crap out of anyone they spot wearing red garments.

Little Red Riding Hood would have taken a thrashing, if she happened by while these tossers were looking for rivals in red raiment. Doubtless she would have been ravished for good measure.

Members of the Poyntzpass Silver Band, from a village in Northern Ireland, would be vulnerable to being duffed up. Black Power would probably mistake their instruments for weapons.

The Liverpool soccer team is susceptible to being mistaken for Mongrel Mobsters, too.

The same goes for Chelsea pensioners, from the Royal Hospital Chelsea, a retirement home and nursing home for former members of the British Army.

Come to think of it, the Chelsea Pensioners are a much more likely target for Black Power than the Liverpool soccer team, because they are much older and frailer, and Black Power bullies would be disinclined to try to beat up anyone who looked vaguely likely to hit back.

Much worse than the propositions set out so far, imagine the outcome if Black Power spotted Santa Claus with his sackful of goodies.

One elderly gentleman in red would be no match for a bunch of thugs, and the outcome would be dire for all the little children whose houses Santa had not yet visited. Their Christmas would be ruined.

To avert such a calamity, Alf would have the Black Power rounded up a few weeks before Christmas every year and banged up until Santa had finished his chores.

Actually, Alf would then be tempted to throw away the keys to cells where the Black Power members were banged up, which – oh dear, what a shame, never mind – would mean they could never be released.

Anderton will be chuffed – he has been promised the vote of a Mongrel Mob member

September 13, 2010

Christchurch citizens might be rocked by the time it took Jim Anderton to come to a sensible decision, but Alf is by no means surprised.

Let’s face it – Jim has been a national superannuitant for a few years now and for age reasons can be excused if he’s slowing down, although this expression of understanding by no means should be interpreted as a sign that Alf would vote for the bugger.

The important thing for the purposes of this post is that Jim has finally done it and announced he will resign his Wigram seat in Parliament if he wins next month’s mayoral election.

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Sharples and Black Power: forget about the drugs, it’s the tikanga that matters

August 24, 2010

Alf is disappointed but by no means surprised that Maori Party co-leader Pita Sharples has been trying to spare a Black Power stronghold from demolition.

The gang might be a tad cavalier, in the law and order department, with a regrettable inclination to peddle drugs and what-have-you.

But hey, the Maori Party is unabashedly about promoting things Maori and there is bound to come a point where being Maori is more important than being law-abiding.

It happened – for example – with those blokes who roughed up the PM at Waitangi last year, and Hone Harawira proudly spoke on their behalf to tell us what splendid people they were and how we had to understand their grievances.
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Police privacy claims conceal what might be the innocent truth about tiny tot sex offenders

March 15, 2010

Alf expects a great deal of shrieking and gnashing of teeth this morning as hordes of harpies and their neutered husbands react to news that a 5-year-old and two 6-year-old boys were apprehended by police for sexual assault last year.

Alf is much more bothered by the news that –

They were among 716 children aged under nine who were reprimanded in the 2008/09 financial year for offences from unlawfully taking a bicycle and possession of cannabis to threatening to kill and assault with a weapon.

That number attests to a great deal of child crime in the community, although the numbers are reported to be about half those of a decade ago.
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Cleaning up the street takes time

September 30, 2009

(as dictated to Mrs Grumble)

Great news from the capital. Housing New Zealand has won a second court battle to evict families with gang links.

On second thoughts, it’s mixed news.

Winning the legal battle – and strengthening Housing NZ’s right to get rid of troublesome tenants quickly – is one thing.

Throwing out troublesome tenants is another.

Especially when the buggers can find the money to keep the legal fight going.
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Why Rodney should never say never

May 7, 2009

A Bill empowering the Wanganui District Council to make by-laws banning Black Power, the Mongrel Mob, Hell’s Angels and other gangs from designated places such as the central business district and parks was introduced into parliament a year ago.

It started off as a local bill, promoted by Chester Borrows, and last night it was enacted.

Fines of up to $2000 (peanuts for mob members) can be imposed for breaches.

That’s peanuts for mob members, maybe. But as a tough law and order bloke, Alf supported the measure.

Actually, he kind of favours stripping gang members of all their clobber and making the buggers go naked. It’s not easy trying to hide your guns, knives and so on up your bare backside.

Nudity would knock ’em down to size, moreover.

But Alf enjoys a good debate and was impressed by the eloquence of some of its opponents.
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