God is still great but pastoral workers in Mt Eden prison have been Serco-sized

January 29, 2012

A headline in the Herald on Sunday today exposes the bugger who wrote it as seriously heathen.

It says God locked out of Mt Eden prison cells

But God is omnipresent and can’t be locked out of anything, especially prisons from which mere mortals of the criminal persuasion can and often do escape.

The HoS’s impiety is compounded in the first sentence of the story.

God has been remanded without a chance of appeal at one of our toughest prisons.

As Alf’s astute constituents will have observed, that first sentence shows the HoS hacks are profoundly confused about what exactly has happened to God, because it implies He has been locked in, not out.

But if you bother to read on to find what God might have been banged up for, you find his omnipresence has not become flawed and he has been locked neither in nor out.

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The Mt Eden Prison project: Mayor Banks and his fellow moaners can’t recognise an aesthetic facelift

May 27, 2010

Alf is amused by the fuss Aucklanders are kicking up over a $218 million prison development.

It towers over the Southern Motorway, says the Herald, casting a shadow across Mt Eden.

And it has “horrified” residents, principals and community leaders.

They are appalled by the project at Mt Eden Prison, and one city councillor believes the new block has grown higher than initial plans indicated it would.

We should not be surprised. Alf looks forward to many more bad buggers being banged up for a long time, under the Three Strikes bill we have just passed in Parliament.

We’ve got to put ’em somewhere.

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