Paul Henry should try dropping the C word into his diatribe, now that the T word has been ruled OK

April 10, 2015

Alf hesitates to use the C word in polite company because it usually is rated the most offensive word in the English language.

Giving offence is best avoided when communicating with constituents, so it won’t be used here.

But the Grumbles are both interested in words and their meanings, and when Mrs Grumble went googling for the meaning of the C word she found this at the top of the page of suggested sites:

a woman’s genitals.

an unpleasant or stupid person.

Alf prefers to talk of “naughty bits” (in the former case) and “tosser”, “plonker” or “moron” when he is writing about unpleasant or stupid people.

In his vocabulary the words “greenies” and “lefties” similarly are apt to be unpleasant or stupid people.

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Another job for the PC police – taking the smut out of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star

December 18, 2011

More offensive than the goods in a sex shop?

Political correctness gone mad, as they say…

Ah, but has the madness gone further in this country than elsewhere?

Or can the Brits lay claim to being more crazed than us?

In that country a group of toddlers has been re-educated in how to sing “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” with hand gestures to ensure they do not offend the deaf.

In sign language – it seems – you’ve got to be careful when you make a star shape, because in British sign language it translates into a woman’s genitalia.

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If Murray Deaker had been watching his P’s and Q’s, he would have avoided the N word

June 4, 2011

The Dambusters with Guy Gibson (Richard Todd) and his dog whose name should not be mentioned in polite company.

So what does sports commentator Murray Deaker have in common with a celebrity hairdresser and a perfumier? They have all startled people and maybe upset some by using the N word.

The thing is, it has become increasingly naughty to use the N word over recent decades as attitudes change and its offensiveness is increased.

Alf wouldn’t mind betting he would be in bigger trouble if he publicly used the N word than if he brought the C word into play.

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Hone thinks of quitting – hurrah (but can he give up the pay and the perks?)

November 7, 2009

Well, well, well. Hone Harawira is thinking of quitting as an MP.

Surely not! The bugger has been relishing the nourishment from the public trough for too long and Alf is putting his money on him staying to enjoy the perks for another three years.

More’s the pity.

But if he did quit, would it be because he recognises he has behaved disgracefully and should fall on his sword? Or his spear? Or whatever is sharp enough to pierce his outrageously thick hide?

Nah. The bugger is spitting the dummy because he has a problem governing in coalition with we Nats.

The Dom-Post tells us –

Firebrand Maori Party MP Hone Harawira – under attack for an explosive email – says he could quit at the next election over his party’s support for National.

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