If you go with Gower, you are backing Bennett and bypassing the blokes who hanker to be next leader

August 24, 2014
"When I say this big, I'm not talking about poll support."

“When I say this big, I’m not talking about her poll support.”

Patrick Gower admits he is a plonker who got it wrong last time. And Alf reckons he has got it wrong this time.

Last time he predicted Crusher was a likely National leader to succeed The Boss.

This time he is putting his money on Paula Bennett.

Alf trusts he is not putting too much money on Paula.

This by no means is meant to reflect unkindly on our splendid Minister for Social Development. When it comes to the crunch – or the crush – pretty well anybody in the National team would make a better prime minister than anyone the lefties or greenies could throw into the ring.

But it does seem Gower has a thing about Rubenesque sheilas with a bit of beef and solid thighs.

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Dear Crusher: If it’s good enough for zoo keepers to shoot to kill escapers, why not prison escapers too?

May 7, 2011

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Is this Crusher popping down to the shops?


Mrs Grumble has just typed a letter for Alf to sign and send to the admirable Corrections Minister, Crusher Collins.

Alf was tempted to raise the matter of Crusher’s petrol expenses, but decided that would be counter-productive.

It would be apt to get her back up, and when Crusher gets her back up she can become more than somewhat shrewish.

But more of that later.

Alf’s purpose was to recommend the hiring of Paul Horton for a job in the Corrections Service, to look after our more dangerous prison inmates.

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TV3, Tuhoe and a teasing item about Treaty negotiations – but why weren’t they keeping tabs on Pita?

April 20, 2010

It’s a bloody good thing Alf started his round-up of the blogs this morning by checking out what the Busted Blonde had to say at Roarprawn. He had been limbering up to take a whack at Chris Finlayson, our Minister of Treaty Negotiations, after being incensed by a TV3 news item last night.

According to TV3 –

The Government is on the verge of offering the Tuhoe tribe a treaty settlement that could be as groundbreaking as it is controversial.

Tuhoe is hoping it will mean total control of the Urewera National Park, and start the tribe on the way to self-rule and becoming a separate nation.

Well, bugger me, Alf thundered.

A treaty settlement with Tuhoe? Didn’t Tuhoe take great pride in refusing to sign the bloody document?

And what’s all this bollocks about self-rule?

Before we know it, we will be needing a bloody passport to get into the national park, and probably we will have to pay hefty fees to drive on the roads, walks on the tracks and swim in the lakes.
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