Rachael the social justice martyr may be on to something with bed count but went awry on abortion

October 6, 2014
She is keeping an eye on bed numbers in Southland's mental health unit.

She is keeping an eye on bed numbers in Southland’s mental health unit.

Alf has been seized by a serious dose of petulance, since running through the list of ministerial promotions, demotions and what-have-you and finding his name is not there.

He is especially soured (but won’t be saying so publicly) by the favours dished out to Epsom’s MP, David Seymour, who becomes an under-secretary, and to Paul Goldsmith, who stood for National, took a dive but became an MP anyway on the party list and now is a Minister .

Eketahuna North, on the other hand, has no representation in The Boss’s ministerial team.

Bloody disgrace (but don’t let him know that’s what Alf is thinking).

So instead of writing about the ministerial line-up Alf has decided to look at the shit-stirring of another Goldsmith in the politics caper.

Could they be related?

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When stripping is part of the action at a posh school for sheilas, Hekia should look at the funding

September 4, 2014
School was never quite like this in Eketahuna.

School was never quite like this in Eketahuna.

Alf was fascinated earlier this year by a report of a real life St Trinian’s in Britain where unruly pupils got up to the sort of hanky-panky that would be punished with a fierce caning in the good old days.

A snap inspection found some of the pupils were involved in a string of bullying incidents as well as reports of brawling, food fights, swearing at teachers, smoking and truancy.

The school was also placed in special measures after the inspectors gave it a Grade 4 rating – the worst it can possibly give out – branding it ‘inadequate’ and ‘requiring improvement.’

The verdict led to comparisons to the fictional St Trinian’s school for girls – originally created by a cartoonist in the 1940s which later became the subject of hit movies.

The school was inspected after it announced it would provide iPads for teachers and pupils

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It’s no fun, being on the campaign trail in Epsom with a true-blue MP who aims to lose

August 27, 2014
When they told him to take a dive, this isn't what they intended.

When they told him to take a dive, this isn’t what they intended.

Gotta say Alf happened to be in Epsom yesterday (getting back home explains the tardiness in posting this item).

And he happened upon that Goldsmith feller about the same time as the Herald.

The bugger was out campaigning to lose which is much the same as throwing a fight in the boxing ring or doing whatever bent cricketers do to help some gambling enterprise.

If you know he has been hobbled – yeah, all for the good of the National Party, so it must be okay – it’s not much fun to watch.

It’s not much fun listening to him explain what’s going on, either .

As the Herald observes today, Paul doesn’t want to win the electorate vote and hence was fielding questions from voters on just who they should be backing.

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If Michael Cullen didn’t say it, then it’s time someone did – we won, they lost (etc)

November 27, 2011

Take your pick, Phil

Look at the official scorecard.

True, they are preliminary results for the 2011 General Election and Referendum on the Voting System.

The Electoral Commission aims to have the official results published on its site by 2pm on Saturday 10 December.

But the preliminary results are pretty convincing.

What do they tell us?

Hah – we won, they lost, eat that!

But hasn’t that been said before?

A lot of people think so.

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When it comes to relevance, Peters does for politics what pigeons do for the post

July 31, 2011

After the secrets have been
delivered, you can eat the messenger - but what can be done with Peters?

Alf is confident that none of his party colleagues would ever suspect him of leaking party polling data to Winston Peters.

But just in case – the answer is no, he has not been leaking data and he steers well clear of Peters.

Moreover, he advises his constituents not to bother looking at other Nats for the culprit. Maybe there isn’t one.

He draws attention to Peters’ track record in the credibility department.

More particularly, he draws attention to a post at Kiwiblog which effectively deals with Peters’ pledge that his party will follow the rules on disclosing political donations.

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Psst – want a good election tip? Put your dosh on Goff being put out to pasture soon after the race

July 24, 2011

A better bet than the prospect of a Goff-led coalition.


Care to spare a thought for how Phil Goff might be feeling this morning?

On second thoughts, forget about it. Let’s get used to the idea that in a few months he will be political dog tucker.

Alf confidently asserts this on the strength of news that the National government is trouncing Labour, according to the latest Horizon poll.

National has 10.2% more support than Phil Goff’s Labour, and is continuing to widen the gap, with its support up 2.2% since May against a 0.9% rise for Labour.

The only surprise there is that Labour was able to lift its support at all after dishing up that capital gains tax pap.

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