It’s a real shame when soaps need cleaning up or putting beyond the reach of kiddies

May 6, 2011

So which one would you rather see in the all-together?


Alf does not bother watching Coronation Street, because if he is not attending to important matters of state as MP for Eketahuna North he is relaxing down at the Eketahuna Club.

Thanks to Labour’s Lianne Dalziel, therefore, and to Mrs Grumble’s research, he has been alerted to the huge threat to the welfare of our children presented by exposure to the programme.

Dalziel is publicly complaining that television has become so raunchy that even Coronation Street is no longer acceptable for children’s viewing.

She was banging on about broadcasting standards during a commerce select committee hearing yesterday.

The “Adults Only” television watershed should be brought back to 7.30pm, she contended, because 8.30pm no longer reflects the content of the shows broadcast.

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Tickling this PETA would be a nice job for BB

April 20, 2009

PETA needs someone like BB and BB would benefit from membership of PETA.

Alf, accordingly, has sent her name to them with an application for immediate membership and a bit of stuff about how she could do for PETA’s media coverage what an unfortunate burst of domestic violence has done for Tony Veitch. Get its name all over the front pages of our newspapers and heavy coverage on radio and TV.

PETA is shorthand for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (although there’s no need to remember this, because their cause is an eminently unmemorable one).

They desperately need good public relations advice, although – even better – they desperately need to find a better cause to peddle.

They banged out a statement on Friday pleading with Environment Minister Nick Smith to become a vegetarian to reduce carbon emissions.
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