Can’t say for sure if a charge of hooliganism can be laid in this country. The cops round up hooligans, sure enough (although not often enough) and there are all sorts of things to charge the buggers with.
A broad range of penalties can be imposed, too, including crushing their cars.
But Alf has become very attracted to the specific offence of hooliganism since the Russians decided the Greenpeace bunch should face such charges.
He saw nothing wrong with charging them with piracy, as it happens, and was going to offer his services if any of them needed prodding with a cutlass to make them walk the plank, preferably into shark-infested waters.
But being banged up for being a hooligan has a nice ring to it.