Drama teacher’s rumpy-pumpy with students took sex education too far – but cops were indifferent

June 4, 2015

So what must teachers do to interest the police in the legality or propriety of their sexual relations with students?

Much more than a bit of howz-yer-father, apparently.

Mind you, the age of the students may well play a part in police considerations. That somewhat critical piece of information is not provided in the report that Mrs Grumble brought to Alf’s attention.

Whatever the reason for the cops’ indifference, a female teacher has been punished professionally.

She has been stripped of her teaching registration after admitting sexual relations with two students.

She does not seem to have been too contrite when initially caught out because she continued to send explicit text messages to one of the teens after being stood down for her behaviour.

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Our cops deserve something fit for a SWOT team … but must settle for something more rustic

February 19, 2015
Our cops are getting this.

They will go crime-fighting with this…

No, not this...

…rather than this.

Alf was seriously excited  – for a while at least – by a report from Littlefield, Arkansas.

It said the Littlefield Police Department had acquired a 200 kiloton nuclear warhead under a US Department of Defense programme that distributed surplus weapons to local agencies throughout the USA.

The device, which is ten times more powerful than the bomb detonated over Hiroshima in World War II, will be used to deter crime in Littlefield and the greater Jasper County area, Police Chief Jefferson Bailey said.

“There will be no more crime in Littlefield,” Bailey said, “Because if there is, I’ll blow this town sky-high.”

Many of Littlefield’s 15,000 residents, according to the report, had  expressed concern over its police department’s acquisition of the nuclear weapon and the guidelines governing its potential use.

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Keeping admirably mum about Mike and the cops and the murky matter of who said what to whom

February 10, 2015

Mrs Grumble phoned during the boring bit of Parliamentary proceedings today to recommend giving a Sergeant Schultz award to Police Minister Michael Woodhouse.

Woodhouse won plaudits from her for his skill at saying nothing about his role in the Mike Sabin matter.

Well, almost nothing.

He  refused – again – to confirm whether he was briefed by Police about Sabin.

‘But he  said he was “absolutely” confident he had handled the situation properly.

If he handled the matter properly without being briefed by the Police, of course, he is entitled to another award, this one for  prowess in the Police portfolio while being kept in the dark.

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Sorry to hear Mike Sabin is quitting but let’s look on the bright side for law and order

January 30, 2015


And if we can't find a stretch  of clean water - too bad.

And if we can’t find a stretch of clean water – too bad.

Alf has been hugely heartened by the opportunity which opened today for him to replace Mike Sabin as chairman of the select committee that deals with law and order matters. It’s a great chance to promote a harder stance on crime and criminals.

Sabin, of course, has been at the centre of reports he is being investigated by police over an alleged assault.

Alf would have thought an alleged assault is easily investigated. He is bothered at having to suppose that, if there has been such an investigation, the matter of who did what to whom has taken a helluva long time to sort out.

Trouble is, Mike became awfully circumspect about the the matter and The Boss’s silence hasn’t helped stem the flow of conjecture and rumour.

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If we oldies can get to bed at a respectable hour, there’s no need for pubs to stay open until dawn

January 23, 2015

Alf observes with some fascination the goings-on about boozing hours in Wellington.

The rejection of Wellington City Council plans for bar hours has implications for councils in other parts of the country. Hence it may affect the Tararua District Council’s thinking on what is allowable in its patch, and this in turn would affect Alf’s lifestyle.

This means that councils across the county (according to Radio NZ) may struggle to enforce any policies allowing bars to stay open beyond 4am.

Alf can advise his constituents (who are well aware of his habits, anyway) that his lifestyle certainly would not be affected by any requirement for pubs to shut by 4am, because at that hour he has long ago gone home to snuggle down with Mrs Grumble or (sometimes) be put to bed in the spare room.


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The cops must be more careful now, so let’s find another way of putting Labour out of its misery

August 28, 2014
It was never going to win, anyway, and now it can be turned into dog tucker.

It was never going to win, anyway, so we should turn it into dog tucker.

Well, who’d have believed it?

It seems the cops sometimes exceed their authority in shutting down out-of-control parties.

That’s what the Independent Police Conduct Authority report has found, according to a report in the NZ Herald.

Alf had hoped the cops could do anything they bloody well liked to shut down a too-boisterous party.

It seems not, although the authority has acknowledged police are often confronted with difficult situations when called to deal with such incidents.

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The cops will turn up real fast if you ding a car – but where were they when Hone’s office was shot at?

August 23, 2014
"I suppose it will be like this all the time if I lose my driving licence."

“I suppose it will be like this all the time if I lose my driving licence.”

Some ungracious bastards will think it’s a shame Hone Harawira has survived unscathed after losing control of his car south of the Mangamuka Gorge.

Alf does not share this uncharitable view because he has been deeply steeped in the teachings of The Bible and has been conditioned by his religious upbringing to love his fellow man, although he might yield to temptation on occasion and say unkind things about lefties and greenies who don’t have to do too much to provoke him.

Alf further recognises that Hone is an indigenous person and therefore is entitled to special treatment, which should include special treatment from law-enforcement officers.

It seems he has been given special treatment, but not the sort that makes him happy.

Or rather, Hone reckons enforcement officers’ response rates differ, depending on whether he is a complainant or the driver of a crashed car.

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Unwise and even stupid people can be found outside politics – at a city golf club, for example

June 8, 2013

The heading on the number three item on the Herald’s home page, when Alf checked this evening, said: Dunne: I was unwise, even stupid.

We all know what that’s about.

It was about United Future leader Peter Dunne’s 30-year political career being in ruins after he refused to co-operate fully with an inquiry into who leaked a report on spy agency the GCSB (see here).

Thus a bloke who once led a parliamentary team of eight MPs on the strength of his portraying it as the common-sense party had shown he is capable of being uncommonly senseless.

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Nice one, Pete – we would like to know where the revenue-grabbing speed cameras are hidden, too

April 27, 2013

Good on ya, Peter Dunne, for having a crack at the cops over their hidden speed cameras.

He is trying to find out where in the Wellington region the cameras are being used.

Alf might encourage him to extend his campaign to cover the Wairarapa.

The story popped up on the telly last night (see here).

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So law and order has come to this: if the burglars don’t get your dosh, the cops might have a go

March 31, 2013
If he trips on your doorstep...could he sue???

If he trips on your doorstep…could he sue???

Alf for years has been uneasy about the increasing recruitment of women into the police, no matter how butch or beefy they might be. When push comes to shove, or arrest turns to fisticuffs, you need a bloke, and the bigger the better.

Mrs Grumble takes issue with him on this matter, accusing him of being sexist and saying she would liked to have been a cop but…

But Alf feels his opinion has been well and truly validated by the case of a lady plod in Britain who failed to lift her feet while plodding – not high enough to get above a bit of kerbing, anyway – and she tripped.

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