Here’s hoping the West Coast stays blue and the locals retain a ruddy hue in their necks

But they don't serve lattes there, do they?

Alf is astonished to learn – and is disappointed, too – that a gay greenie from the West Coast reckons the place should no longer be regarded as a place where the blokes are real blokes.

The gay greenie in question is Kevin Hague, one of their List MPs, and he is saying he is “sick and tired” of the region’s residents being portrayed as rednecks.

This was triggered by Labour List MP Damien O’Connor’s red-blooded denunciation of the party’s list selection process, which he colourfully said was run by “self-serving unionists and a gaggle of gays”.

Labour leader Phil Goff demanded an apology from O’Connor. But he had enough political nous to say O’Connor’s comments could be viewed positively by West Coasters.

They are certainty being viewed positively by Alf’s mates in Eketahuna, although it’s fair to say they have the great good sense never to vote for Labour.

The awful secret that Hide wants to hide – the bugger is biased against blondes

An obvious victim of blondism.

The media morons, ever so quick to whip up a row around racism if Hone Harawira is involved, have missed the obvious in their analysis of what’s been going on in the Act Party.

The obvious is that Act has a majority of blondists in its caucus – three of the buggers – who got rid of Heather Roy because she is a blonde.

The media, alas, has become so preoccupied with racism, sexism and homophobia that it has neglected this area of prejudice.

Society prefers not to discuss this form of prejudice, either.

Alf imagines that if you took a blondist complaint to the Human Rights Commission, you would be laughed out of the joint.

Mind you, he happens to believe that every complaint ever taken to the outfit should be laughed out of the joint, which should be pulled down and its inhabitants sent into the world to find proper jobs.

He upholds the right of all of us – and especially him – to be thoroughly prejudiced, including against blondes, baldies numbskulls and short-arsed tossers who wear yellow jackets.