The Brits have figured out how to expand their economy – with drugs and sex – but France says non

December 27, 2014
An easy way to give GDP a leg-up...

An easy way to give GDP a leg-up…

Alf is keen to get back to Parliament where he will explain to Craig Foss his fiendish plan for lifting the country’s GDP.

Foss is our Minister of Statistics and the fiendish plan involves expanding the GDP data set.

It can be done by following the Brits, as we learn from this report in The Telegraph.

Britain has overtaken France to become the world’s fifth largest economy, new analysis shows.

A shake-up of the national accounts this summer, which showed the UK’s downturn during the Great Recession was shorter and shallower than previously thought, helped Britain overtake the Gallic economy by a whisker this year.

The Centre for Economics and Business Research (CEBR) said Britain’s acceleration was also boosted by the inclusion of sex and drugs to UK growth.

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Sort out your transvestites from your transgenders – that’s the lesson from a booklet about harlots

August 6, 2012

Alf is a bit bemused about who – exactly – has been offended by some Auckland Council pamphleteering. More important, why should they have been offended?

His bemusement is prompted by the council’s expression of regret for any offence caused over a booklet it helped produce on street prostitution in South Auckland.

It seems this booklet prompted a string of complaints to the Human Rights Commission.

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Here’s the up side of misery and fear – hardship is hitting harlots while the churches flourish

March 26, 2011

Daniel Adams – a reporter on the Waikato Times – has a delightfully biblical name.

It is appropriate therefore that he has been sent out to report on the booming business for churches in Hamilton.

But his by-line appears on another story in his newspaper today, about a drop in business for the city’s whores and harlots.

He has not noted the obvious connection between the two trends – that as more and more people rediscover The Lord, so more and more people must be rejecting the works of the Devil and eschewing the sins of the flesh.

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Nah, this ‘punchup’ is simply some pricklish politicking about a teenage strumpet called Holly

September 19, 2010

The first thing Alf has to say this morning is that the SST has conned him – and all its readers – with its headline Political punchup over call-girl claim.

There was no punch-up.

Not even the hint of a bit of arm wrestling or of someone firmly putting an arm on the shoulders of someone else.

The second thing to say is that the story involves George Hawkins, mostly known to Alf as a bloke who spat the dummy when the Labour Party placed him around 25th on its party list in 2006. Hawkins thought he deserved a higher place, withdrew his name from the list, and won the seat handsomely when he stood for election in Manurewa.

But Alf reckons this tells us much more about the collective wisdom of the people of Manurewa than about the electoral appeal of George Hawkins, although the voters did have the good sense to lop his majority when he stood again in 2008.

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Socialism and the first nudist colony – the queer tale of naturism, a Fabian fairy and a kinky judge

April 25, 2010

Should you wonder what’s queer about Socialism, take a gander at a report that caught Alf’s eye during his morning web wanderings.

It’s about the world’s first nudist colony being established in Thane, located on Salsette Island to the Northeast of Mumbai in India.

The reporter, one Vishwas Kulkarni, writes:

The satellite city of Thane may have been the unlikeliest of places for such a recreation, but the world’s first-ever nudist colony, The Fellowship of the Naked Trust (FNT), was set up there in 1891 by Charles Edward Gordon Crawford, a District and Sessions Judge in British India.

This was proved by four letters – copies of which are with Mumbai Mirror – written by the founder to Edward Carpenter, English socialist, philosopher and gay activist, between August 19, 1891 and June 5, 1892.

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The complications of modern-day dam building – money must be put aside for measuring the mauri

April 13, 2010

Deep and meaningful negotiations are under way on the inevitable cultural impacts.

Just because it’s legal does not make it right.

Alf was never happy about legalising prostitution in this country, for example. Or permitting civil unions. Or letting teenagers into pubs.

Hence he is not impressed by the defence being advanced by the iwi that was given money by Meridian Energy, apparently to reverse its opposition to a West Coast hydro dam.

The iwi is saying the payment was a “legitimate” part of the resource consent process.

Of course it is. Perfectly legal.

It raises lots of questions in Alf’s mind, nevertheless.

The story is told at Stuff today –

Meridian last week revealed it had paid an unspecified sum to Te Runanga o Ngati Waewae for work it had done to assess the cultural impact of the company’s proposed Mokihinui River hydro project.
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Why join the Pelican Club for an escort when you can get one from your second-hand car dealer?

January 3, 2010

So what would we do with over 100 ladies at the Eketahuna Club?

We sometimes express our bemusement at the services available in big cities and the demand for them, down here at the Eketahuna Club.

Take for example the goings-on at Auckland’s Pelican Club.

Unlike the Eketahuna Club, the Pelican Club boasts a website which brays about some eyebrow-raising attractions, such as meeting the sexiest women in Auckland.

It seems to place more emphasis on massage and escorts than on liquor, which Alf regards as highly discouraging.

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