Unabashed royalists like Alf are chuffed that Prince William arrives in New Zealand today for a three-day visit.
He will be there, enthusiastically waving his Union Jack and wearing his tie with the Queen’s face emblazoned on it, when William touches down in Auckland just after 11am.
The prince’s first task will be to visit Eden Park to see redevelopment work and be briefed on plans for next year’s Rugby World Cup.
On Monday, he will attend a wreathlaying ceremony at the National War Memorial in Wellington.
But then – if it hasn’t happened already – the poor bugger will be exposed to the repugnant antics of some of our more odious citizens.
A bunch of protesters is intending to turn up when the prince opens the Supreme Court building in Wellington tomorrow.
Alf is ashamed to say some of our members of Parliament will be among the protesters.
He yearns for the good old days – a few centuries back – when your royals could have ordered the beheading of these rabble-rousing bastards.
In this case they are left-leaning trouble-makers, so their beheadings would lift the nation’s average IQ with two swings of an axe and do good things for the gene pool.