Sir John brings a nice touch to team-building, although another car colour might be better

March 3, 2013
Put 'em in pink, Sir John.

Put ’em in pink, Sir John…

...They look too contented in yellow.

…They look too contented in yellow.

Gotta say that while Alf has a huge distaste for the Blues, their performance has surprised him under coach John Kirwan. Oops. Sir John Kirwan.

It seems he thinks outside the square, when it comes to motivating his players – something the Crusaders learned to their cost on Friday.

One of his ploys is revealed on the Herald website(here) today.

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Safety first – and now you can see the difference between rugger and that other game

August 26, 2011

"After this gig, I have a test match to referee."

Ha! Alf’s jaundiced view of soccer has been thoroughly fortified by the referee who called off a New Zealand secondary schools premier football match.

The ref’s reason for this extreme action was that he felt it was unsafe for a player to wear spectacles, even though they were specially made for football.

And so the game between Napier Boys’ High School and Wakatipu High School (Otago) in Napier was abandoned even before it started.

Officials awarded Wakatipu a 2-0 win and NBHS was relegated from the top 16 play-offs to a lower tier where they can finish 17th at best.

Napier lodged an appeal against the abandonment but lost.

The kid has worn his glasses for other games.

So far as we know, he has come to no harm.

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A new anthem for woofter Wallabies to warble – “In joyful strains then let us sing of Aussies full of fear”

April 15, 2010

Whoa there. Alf has been tempted on occasions – usually after the sad-sack Black Caps’ latest thrashing by the Aussies – to endorse the idea we become another state of Australia.

Without having to sober up, he has had that nonsense shaken out of his mind-set.

He now can see that Aussies are fast becoming a nation of woofters, and we have enough woofters of our own without having to join a nation of the buggers.

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Yep – it looks like City was robbed

September 25, 2009


(as dictated to Mrs Grumble)

Here’s a job for analysts with plenty of spare time on their hands: find out if the All Blacks are disadvantaged by referees when it comes to playing extra time away from home.

Alf raises the issue after reading a fascinating piece in The Guardian by Howard Davies – a Manchester City supporter of more than 50 years – who was dismayed in the last minute of last Sunday’s match against Manchester United.

Manchester United scored the winning goal in that period of play.

For the first time for years, the good guys matched the red devils kick for kick – until the last one, five and a half minutes into four minutes of extra time. We was robbed, innit?

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Three strikes and Alf’s down

June 14, 2009

Alf admits to being a bit of a grouch first thing most mornings, until he’s had his first shot of caffeine. But he was dispirited more than usual this morning as Radio NZ reminded him of what had happened last night.

First, National colleague Melissa Lee finished well behind Labour’s David Shearer who won the Mt Albert by-election (but she did keep the bloody Greens from being able to brag about ousting the Nats from second place).

With all the votes counted, Shearer had 62 percent, Melissa Lee trailed with 17 percent and the Greens Russel Norman had 12 percent

Second, the All Blacks were done by the French at Carisbrook.

Third, the Black Caps were trounced by Pakistan at the 20-over cricket tournament.

But fair to say, Alf lost money only on the All Blacks.

He placed no bets on Labour winning the by-election, but he did put money on Melissa holding that Russel-with-just-one-l bloke at bay and on Shearer getting a smaller majority than Helen Clark in 2008.

Oh, and he put his money on Pakistan for the cricket.
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South Africans screw the racism scrum

February 19, 2009

Well, bugger me. Radio Sport is telling us the South African Rugby Union won’t accept a New Zealand Maori side because it is selected on racial lines.

The Springboks’ planned British and Irish Lions warm-up against the New Zealand Maori is likely to be snubbed by South African Rugby because of the racial composition of the squad.

The South African Rugby Union has confirmed it has had an approach from the NZRU for the Maori to play a game in the Republic in June.

But SARU has issued a statement saying the biggest stumbling block is the long established President’s Council resolution forbidding the appearance of SARU teams against opponents selected on racial lines.

A final decision isn’t expected until the end of March.

Alf and his mates are chuckling at the thought of what John Minto, well known shit-stirrer and national organiser for HART in 1981, will be making of this – he was among the best known leaders of the anti-tour movement, howling against apartheid and South African racism, when the Springboks came here.

A raft of other organisations sprung up in opposition to the tour, with names like CARE (Citizens Association for Racial Equality) and NAAC (National Anti-Apartheid Council).

On the other side of the divide, tour champion Ces Blazey, NZRFU chairman at the time, will be rolling in his grave with laughter.