Keep it Kiwi campaign kicks off with cakes that – crikey, cobber – were first concocted in Toowomba!

September 30, 2010

If we can have these, Oz, we'll give you Russell Crowe (and throw in Russel Norman for good measure).

Alf should be sanguine enough to lose no sleep over the Greens, but he nevertheless despairs of the buggers and their publicity-seeking antics.

To be generous, he supposes their brains have become addled through a lack of nourishment resulting from an overdose of muesli, nuts and lettuce.

This – maybe – explains why Green Party Co-leader Russel Norman launched the Keep it Kiwi campaign by handing out Aussie cakes.

Yep. He was seen handing out lamingtons in front of a Kiwibank branch in Wellington, and if you asked what’s up, he would tell you it was to celebrate New Zealand ownership at a time when John Key’s Government plans to make asset sales an election issue in 2011.

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He’s a Kiwi for now – but if he behaves like Russell Crowe will we want to keep him?

August 12, 2010

Alf has always been fascinated by the way our news media will turn anyone into a Kiwi, if there is the slightest evidence they breathed the air for a while Down Under.

In the latest case, the poor bugger for a while was obliged to breath the smoggy air of Christchurch, something that is bound to have dire consequences for his health in the longer term and to adversely affect his behaviour. .

And so today we find a headline that reads Kiwi actor fights for life in US hospital.

Actually, he is just 14 years old and hence is still a sprat.

And as it turns out, having survived the ordeal of being raised in Christchurch, he is struggling for life in the USA:

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