Cooking doyen’s admission of dithering should disqualify her from being dubbed a dame

December 31, 2010

Guess which one is a wee bit embarrassed.

Alf has gone into a steep decline this morning, on learning he has missed out yet again on a gong in the New Year’s Honours.

He wonders what more he can do to be dubbed a knight, bearing in mind his long service to his community and his admiration for the monarchy.

He also questions why awards are being dished out to people who are reluctant to express their undiluted delight but – to the contrary – proteset that they are underserving or some such. If they are reluctant to pick up these honours, then indeed they are undeserving.

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All Whites are welcomed to the big smoke of Johannesburg – and the Herald got lost in it

June 8, 2010

What’s it with some bloody sports writers that they can’t give you the gist of a story in their opening sentence.

The All Whites’ first training session was cut short because of thick wood and coal fire smog from the surrounding Daveyton township.

But telling it like it is – or was – ain’t the style of Michael Brown, at the Herald.

He tells us:

It’s hard to imagine any All White as a smoker but the players quite literally got a taste of what it would be like during their first training run this morning (NZT).

Bugger all this trying to imagine the All Whites puffing on fags.

What exactly has happened?

Alf didn’t get the slightest whiff of the story from that prattle.
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