Iwi head wants some state houses on the cheap – but even better, he wants them given away

June 2, 2015

It sounded like Iwi Chairs Forum spokesman Haami Piripi wants the Government to transfer social housing stock to iwi for free.

Yep. He was reported to be expecting property in which taxpayers have invested heaps to be handed over to iwi for nothing – or if something must be paid, then the price should be of the bargain-basement variety.

His reasoning is set out in this report today:

Mr Piripi told The Nation at the weekend the market price for some state houses is zero because the “outcomes will far outweigh the cost”.

Alf must confess he is not sure what his means.

Maybe this explains things better:

“This is an investment in the population, an investment in families, an investment in housing, and in order to make an investment as a Government, you have to discount the price to make sure that that investment works, the formula that you put in place works,” Mr Piripi said.

Nope.

Alf is none the wiser.

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Chicken and bread for Christmas looks like a better bet than being among several kids being buried

December 23, 2014

Alf is a generous soul and is willing to give some advice – for free – to the Invercargill couple who say their six young kids will go without on Christmas Day.

The couple are Shelly Edwards and Leo Hewett, who say their six children aged 3-10 will get no presents and have a diet of chicken and bread on Christmas Day because the Salvation Army failed to help them in their time of need.

Alf’s heart bleeds.

But he does not intend throwing money at the hard-up couple, whose story is told here at Stuff.

Instead he is giving¬†advice in response to Shelly’s dilemma:

“How can we tell the kids there’s nothing for Christmas?” Shelly asked from their south Invercargill state house yesterday.

Easy.

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The lesson from Pakistan is that prohibition does not work (and even your pilot might be pissed)

June 3, 2014

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Alf never imagined he would be agreeing with a Sallie on the matter of booze.

But today he does just that – up to a point.

The Sallie in question has just come back to this country after heading the Salvation Army in Pakistan, a country which takes a very dim view of booze and boozing.

His experience there tells him prohibition never works – an opinion that won’t be challenged by the member for Eketahuna North.

He goes on to contend that restrictions can reduce the harm from drugs and alcohol. On this score, Alf reckons it rather depends on the nature of the restrictions.

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God is still great but pastoral workers in Mt Eden prison have been Serco-sized

January 29, 2012

A headline in the Herald on Sunday today exposes the bugger who wrote it as seriously heathen.

It says God locked out of Mt Eden prison cells

But God is omnipresent and can’t be locked out of anything, especially prisons from which mere mortals of the criminal persuasion can and often do escape.

The HoS’s impiety is compounded in the first sentence of the story.

God has been remanded without a chance of appeal at one of our toughest prisons.

As Alf’s astute constituents will have observed, that first sentence shows the HoS hacks are profoundly confused about what exactly has happened to God, because it implies He has been locked in, not out.

But if you bother to read on to find what God might have been banged up for, you find his omnipresence has not become flawed and he has been locked neither in nor out.

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