Spare a thought today for a dismayed mum who has found out her teenage son is just another plonker

In the good old days you would resist being put in this position.

Alf has some sympathy for Vanessa Moodie this morning.

The poor woman has been expressing her shock at discovering her teenage son has become a practising planker and was photographed lying over train tracks.

She is also dismayed – Alf supposes – to discover she has spawned a son who might be a few sandwiches short of a picnic.

Her son Reid is aged 15.

His IQ – the evidence suggests – is not too much higher.

Bugger the Bill of Rights – Tolley has got to empower school heads to flush out drugs and weapons

So who runs our bloody schools these days?

Oh, yes. The kids.

Alf’s perturbation at the extent to which the brats have taken over is reinforced by a report in the Dom-Post this morning.

The Education Ministry is advising principals of the ludicrous prospect of pupils taking schools to court if they are searched for weapons or drugs.

The privacy commissioner plays a role in this story (surprise, surprise). She is saying pupils should not be searched unless consent has been given.

Alf was astonished to learn this post was not abolished during the Government’s assault on wasteful public expenditure.

The cane mutiny – bring back corporal punishment to our classrooms (and let’s not forget about tasers)

Dunno when we were gulled into abandoning corporal punishment in schools but we are now reaping the whirlwind.

The perverse but predictable consequence of sparing the rod is much worse than simply spoiling the brats. It’s that the little buggers are expressing their delight at being mollycoddled by bashing their teachers.

The Dom-Post gives us an idea of the mayhem in our schools in a grim report today.

Hundreds of teachers have received ACC-funded treatment after being assaulted at school.

Principals are shocked by the figure and are demanding immediate action to make schools safer.

Some school staff now fear breaking up fights in case pupils have weapons, and others refuse to do lunchtime duty alone.

A teacher injured during a school attack says that staff will always be at risk from “nutters”.