Little maybe lost his head on the royal birth – and an unforgiving Alf would ensure he didn’t get it back

May 3, 2015

Alf is dismayed that he has not been contacted by the news media to ascertain his reaction to the birth of another Royal.

The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge’s second child was born in the early hours of Saturday morning (UK time) and weighed 8 pounds 3 ounces (3.7 kilograms).

Probably the media hacks are sitting on their bums waiting for press statements.

There won’t be one – at least, not from Alf.

But he takes great pleasure in observing that other leaders have sent their congratulations.

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Saudi Arabia’s illiberal views on liquor are a good reason for staying away from condolence ceremony

January 25, 2015
It looks likely to be a more effective deterrent than home detention.

It looks likely to be a more effective deterrent than home detention.

Alf is somewhat bemused to learn the Governor-General will represent New Zealand at the funeral of the Saudi King Abdullah.

Frankly, he wouldn’t bother sending anybody if he was calling the shots.

But if somebody must go – well, he is pleased the job hasn’t been given to him.

Accordingly he is pleased that Sir Jerry Mateparae will travel to Saudi Arabia for the ceremony of condolences for King Abdullah bin Abdulaziz Al Saud, who died on Friday, aged 90.

Some world leaders have already arrived there.

But what sort of place have they gone to and how many plaudits should be heaped on the late King?

 

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What do taxpayers give a special person? Why, a $2000 (and more) flax cloak, of course

October 29, 2012

Alf enjoys a good piss-up when taxpayers pick up the tab, but only so long as he is invited.

Sadly, he wasn’t invited to the function to farewell two members of the Maori Language Commission board and celebrate 25 years of the Maori Language Act.

Accordingly (a) he is miffed and (b) he is apt to raise questions about the $12,110 (at least) spent on the function.

Mind you, his dander was raised only momentarily because he forgot the money spent on the occasion included farewell gifts (of more than $2000 each, according to the report here) for Dame Iritana Tawhiwhirangi and Ruakere Hond.

And those people, it should be noted, are special people by virtue of their being indigenous.

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