Rachael the social justice martyr may be on to something with bed count but went awry on abortion

October 6, 2014
She is keeping an eye on bed numbers in Southland's mental health unit.

She is keeping an eye on bed numbers in Southland’s mental health unit.

Alf has been seized by a serious dose of petulance, since running through the list of ministerial promotions, demotions and what-have-you and finding his name is not there.

He is especially soured (but won’t be saying so publicly) by the favours dished out to Epsom’s MP, David Seymour, who becomes an under-secretary, and to Paul Goldsmith, who stood for National, took a dive but became an MP anyway on the party list and now is a Minister .

Eketahuna North, on the other hand, has no representation in The Boss’s ministerial team.

Bloody disgrace (but don’t let him know that’s what Alf is thinking).

So instead of writing about the ministerial line-up Alf has decided to look at the shit-stirring of another Goldsmith in the politics caper.

Could they be related?

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Invercargill is declared a non-city – but the Southland Times is more concerned with spotting mice

August 20, 2011

A very puzzling media statement came Alf’s way yesterday.

It was issued by an outfit called Concerned Citizens and it called for Invercargill residents to be banned from Parliament Grounds.

Such a ban would not matter a toss to the good people of Eketahuna North, so Alf did not pursue it.

He thought the Southland Times might delve further, however.

But nah.

The Southland Times has become preoccupied with delapidated houses and – good grief – the menace posed by the mice they attract.

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