Parents who don’t normally treasure your kids, please pay attention: this weekend is for you

Oh, Gawd. Alf had been preparing to take refuge in the Eketahuna Club while Children’s Day was celebrated tomorrow.

But he had better get moving now and take refuge today.

He knew Children’s Day is officially marked on Sunday 3 March. Forewarned was forearmed.

But his colleague and good friend , Paula Bennett, has just advised him (here) the entire weekend will see communities get together across the country to celebrate children and positive parenting.

More ammunition for those who think the best pussy is a perished one

Will it be duck for dinner? Or cat?

The Grumbles took scant notice of the fuss that has raged in recent weeks over moggies and their contribution to bird culling.

On one side of the battlefield was economist and businessman Gareth Morgan, who branded the cat a “friendly neighbourhood serial killer” and called on cat owners to make their current cat their last to protect New Zealand’s native birds and environment.

According to a report here, Morgan is supported by the likes of Forest & Bird advocacy manager Kevin Hackwell. He agreed Kiwis need to “seriously consider whether you are going to replace your old cat”.

Hackwell is a cat owner and admitted felines were “wonderful companions”, but said when his moggy’s time was up, there would be no more meows in his house.

“I would rather have fantails and tuis,” he said.

The SPCA affirms it: “free-range” does not mean your poultry had a happy time down on the farm

The chooks that were cannibalised in the Wairarapa will never know it, probably, but they have died in a good cause.

They have demonstrated that “free range” on food labels has nothing much to do with animal welfare.

Alf always knew as much.

But his constituents have had this affirmed on the good authority of the SPCA, which has issued a statement on the matter in the aftermath of a free-range layer hen farm in Martinborough being abandoned by the farmers.

As was recorded here two days ago, many hens were left neglected, to fend for themselves, and they set about eating each other, but not – presumably – with fries as an accompaniment.

The SPCA got in on the act yesterday with a media statement to explain that “free range” on your food label does not necessarily show the poultry is the product of good animal welfare practices.

Perhaps Sue Kedgley should consult the chooks before freeing them from their cages

So we can live in a cage and be turned into Tegel pieces or become free rangers and be cannibalised.

Would the chickens on a certain farm in the Wairarapa – those that are still alive, that is – vote for the Greens, if the franchise was widened to include chooks?

At first blush, they would vote Green, because the Green Party has championed their welfare for years.

In October last year – for example – the Greens joined animal rights groups in calling on the Government to reject the use of colony cages for layer hens.

At that time, the Royal New Zealand Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (RNZSPCA) and Save Animals From Exploitation (SAFE) called a press conference to announce their opposition to the cages.

When hens get a better deal than kids, the answer is to hand child welfare to the SPCA

Bugger...when the SPCA took charge of child welfare, our well-being was handed over to Child Youth and Family.

Alf has an idea (and a damned good one, too, even if he says so himself).

It’s aimed at getting a better deal for at-risk kids after a United Nations committee expressed concern over shortfalls in the rights of New Zealand children, including “staggering” infant and child mortality rates.

Alf is not too strong on this bollocks about giving children more rights, now that too many of the brazen little buggers use the rights they know they have to commit serious crimes and assault their teachers.

But he is bothered about cases like that reported yesterday and today about a badly abused girl whose parents face a raft of charges.

It seems the girl has been thrashed for a long time.

Possum throwing is a small-time sport – why not think big and start throwing whales?

A dwarf can argue the toss - a dead possum can not.

Dunno what sort of respect we should be showing dead possums, especially the ones found creamed on the middle of the highway.

But throwing the buggers – it transpires – is deemed disrespectful in some circles.

Immoral, too.

A remarkably pointless story of an ex-SPCA man and his threat to put down a trespassing pony

What public purpose, pray, has been served by publishing puerile bleatings about a delinquent pony?

The story about nothing much of importance to anybody appears in the Herald today under the heading Go or I’ll shoot pony, boy told

Perhaps the newspaper saw something newsworthy in the police becoming involved after a bloke threatened to shoot a young boy’s pony because the bloke was identified as a former SPCA general manager.

But the bloody pony strayed on to his property, dammit. A runaway pony can do a lot of damage.