Alf’s mates in the Eketahuna Club are pretty keen for him to have a chat with Steven Joyce about some of the R&D funding handouts he loves to toss to people who seriously look like they don’t much need it.
They are livid that some of this boodle has been tossed to Oracle’s boatbuilder – potentially worth up to $17.25 million, according to media reports.
Alf has every confidence in the outcome of the Eminem legal action against the National Party, which apparently will have its first day in court next week when lawyers for both sides meet to discuss process.
His constituents are well aware of the background, because it was a topic for discussion down at the Eketahuna Club just before the election.
That’s when some outfit based in Detroit, Eminem Publishers, announced it was suing National for alleged copyright infringement.
The company was arguing our original rowing-themed advertisement had a riff similar to that of Lose Yourself, the theme song for 8 Mile in which Eminem played a struggling rapper.
At that time the National Party responded by saying it believed it had correctly licensed the song from bodies which were established to represent the rights of artists in this part of the world.
But this Eminem mob are a persistent bunch, as we learned here at Stuff today:
Then you fill it up with dollars and it’s first in, first served…
Alf admires the aplomb with which his good mate Steven Joyce brushes off any suggestion a Tory Government should not be dishing out a rich swill for corporate oinkers.
If business benefactors find we Tories won’t reward them with a bit of corporate welfare now and again, the bloody economy would grind to a halt because we can be damned sure a pinko government won’t be helping them.
ACT’s David Seymour, who is new to this sort of thing, has a lot to learn because he was putting Parliamentary questions to Joyce yesterday on this subject. Obviously he disapproves of our generosity to Big Business.
He wanted to know if Steven was concerned at the scale of corporate welfare in New Zealand under this Government and if not, why not?
“When I say this big, I’m not talking about her poll support.”
Patrick Gower admits he is a plonker who got it wrong last time. And Alf reckons he has got it wrong this time.
Last time he predicted Crusher was a likely National leader to succeed The Boss.
This time he is putting his money on Paula Bennett.
Alf trusts he is not putting too much money on Paula.
This by no means is meant to reflect unkindly on our splendid Minister for Social Development. When it comes to the crunch – or the crush – pretty well anybody in the National team would make a better prime minister than anyone the lefties or greenies could throw into the ring.
But it does seem Gower has a thing about Rubenesque sheilas with a bit of beef and solid thighs.
Only one in 20 applicants will pass the screening process.
Alf will be having a chat with Steven Joyce – our splendid Minister of Economic Development – with a very innovative idea he conceived while reading The Telegraph.
He will be proposing New Zealand encourages developing an industry of professional wankers.
Steven is likely to point out that New Zealand already has professional wankers, and there are far too many of the buggers, mainly to be found infesting the Labour and Green Parties, the NZ Party, the Internet Mana Party, some newspapers…
With their bridging finance fast running out Grant Dalton yesterday reiterated the team’s dire financial position, warning without an immediate cash injection from the Government the syndicate would be “gone by the end of the month”.
“If we go, there ain’t no coming back. The start-up price of a team from scratch is so astronomical that it will never happen in this country.”
Alf happens to be sublimely indifferent to the fate of the boaties. If they can make it by themselves, good on them. If they can’t, too bad.
Perhaps when you call it an indigenous university, but to be really sure you aren’t deceiving anybody, you throw in a hyphen and call it an indigenous-university.
Alf bristles at this misuse of the hyphen and is tempted to lodge an official complaint about the serious debasing of his taonga, which – of course – is the wonderful English language.
But the temptation is a fleeting one. Whereas we are supposed to take great care to protect the taonga of our indigenous people, few people would pay any attention if Alf was to grumble about a mischief being done by anyone to his culture and cultural treasures.
That post was critical of the boat building industry for pleading for more swill from the corporate welfare trough after things went sour for us in San Francisco.
The Marine Industry Association was aiming to double the sector’s exports to more than $1.3 billion in the next seven years, but this target was largely based on the America’s Cup being hosted in New Zealand.
So they had backed the wrong boat.
That was much too harsh, Steven has told your hard-working member for Eketahuna North.