SkyCity incident involving Paul Henry raises an interesting question about bigotry towards bigots

June 22, 2015

A small confession: Alf is not averse to a bit of biffo, in appropriate circumstances.

Another confession: he happens to regard Paul Henry as fondly as he regards a moth or fly that has flown on a kamikaze mission into his whisky.

And thirdly, as a firm believer in human rights, Alf staunchly stands by a bloke’s right to be a bigot.

Accordingly he feels tempted to take a dim view of the fellow who has been accused of assaulting Paul Henry and who allegedly told police the television presenter was “a racist and a bigot who should expect consequences for his views”.

Guilt- it must be emphasised – has yet to be established.

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A marriage of mana and money makes a moaning minnie of – guess who? Yep – Sue

May 27, 2014

And so the decision has been made.

The Internet Party and Mana Party have teamed up for this year’s election.

Alf and his fellow Nats are feeling seriously unthreatened.

Hone Harawira will be top dog in this odd coupling – he will have top billing on the alliance’s party list.

Mana has given up the number two spot on their combined list to the Internet Party’s leader, who will be named tomorrow (or so we are assured).

This is all too much for dear old Sue Bradford to stomach. She has spat the dummy – as she warned she would – and quit the Mana Party.

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It’s too bad Paula didn’t adopt the proposal to introduce mandatory chastity belts for the poor

May 8, 2012

If Sue and the others are not going to belt up about our contraception policy, we should introduce these…

Paula Bennett will be wishing she had listened to Alf.

He advised her not to go soft and wimpish by offering free long-term contraception for beneficiaries and their daughters.

Someone was bound to squawk in protest.

And because squawking in protest was inevitable – well, bugger it, let’s give ’em something to squawk about.

So long as women are pocketing welfare benefits, let’s ensure they do not spawn a new generation of beneficiaries.

No, not by compulsory sterilisation. That would be apt to have the critics denounce we Nats as Nazis.

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Mana needs to hone its analytical skills – and it should be more wary of positive poll portents next time

November 29, 2011

"It's mum...she reckons we've got enough seats for me to be the Prime Minister."

A capacity for good political analysis seems to be lacking within the Mana Party.

The buggers are arguing the toss today about whether the election result was good or bad for them, after leader Hone Harawira reclaimed his Te Tai Tokerau seat, but the party failed to capture enough of the party vote to bring a second MP into Parliament.

Co-president Annette Sykes was in the latter group, saying she was “far from disappointed”.

Given that the party was formed only seven months before the election, 20,000 votes was a huge achievement.

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Bread and circuses are prescribed to pacify the mob but an entertainment centre should do the trick

May 27, 2011

And if we run out of elephants, we could teach Gerry to sit up like this.

Alf is anticipating a bit of a hullabaloo from a raft of community groups that need weaning off government handouts.

The buggers are complaining today about the Government’s cutting $1.5 million from the Community Organisations Grants Scheme and giving it to four areas of its choosing.

Just imagine their chagrin when they find out about the $650,000 for rugby parties the Government is handing out in Christchurch.

More specifically, according to the Ministerial statement, the dosh is for a new temporary entertainment and performance events village to be set up in North Hagley Park.

The money will be ladelled from the Major Events Development Fund, according to the announcement today from Canterbury Earthquake Recovery Minister Gerry Brownlee and Acting Economic Development Minister David Carter.

This is bloody good politics.

Christchurch needs cheering up after being constantly shaken up, and the poor buggers will be missing out on the Rugby World Cup matches that had been scheduled for their city before the earthquakes scuttled those plans.

The community workers who are being starved of funds are bleeding hearts who probably vote Labour.

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Splat – the sound of Sue spitting the dummy

September 25, 2009

(as dictated to Mrs Grumble)

The Green Party’s Sue Bradford took some time to spit the dummy. But – at last – it has been spat.

She has announced her resignation, saying the Greens’ decision not to elect her co-leader was personally disappointing and she is ready for a change.

Alf is delighted. He thought she would be around for much too long after she lost the co-leadership vote.

This discomforting prospect was raised by the an item at the time in the NZ Herald.
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Good grief – see who’s on the “most trusted” list

June 24, 2009

Alf is seriously sulking over a survey that ranks Blue Chip’s Mark Bryers among the 85 most trusted people in the country.

Mark Bloody Bryers is the bloke who co-founded the company in which many Kiwis lost their savings, and who is facing a raft of charges laid by the Companies Office.

Another bout of litigation has been brought by 240 or so investors who claim their apartment sale and purchase agreements are void and they should not be forced to honour them, and that Blue Chip was deceptive and misled the investors.

And so on.

Sure, Bryers just sneaks in at No 85 on the most trusted list.

But Alf Grumble, hard-working and much-admired member for Eketahuna North, is not there at all.
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Despair deepens as Sue resolves to stay

June 1, 2009

More depressing news.

Having slipped into a steep decline on learning of his omission from the Queen’s Birthday honours list, Alf went back to bed to sulk.

He clambered out after an hour or so, returned to his PC to catch up with more of the day’s news, then suffered an instant relapse on reading: Bradford vows to continue in Parliament

That was the headline on a story about the Green Party’s co-leadership change – an event that should have been of absolutely no consequence to Alf, nor to the nation.

Except – oh, calamity – that it seems to have strenghened Bradford’s resolve to remain an MP.
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