Titewhai, protocols and rancidity – why Hone’s mum may be banned from a marae

May 17, 2011

You don't notice it so much out here in the open air.

Dunno what the word sounds like in Te Reo.

But it’s a fair mouthful in English.

It’s “rancidification” – a process with a somewhat unsavoury pong about it.

And it’s been applied to describe the behaviour of Hone Harawira’s very stroppy mum, the formidable Titewhai.

In essence, as the Herald reports today, Titewhai faces a possible ban from Te Tii Marae after being accused of “rancidification of Maori protocols” at a recent Maori Party hui.

Alf fancies himself as a great wordsmith (although Ele from Homepaddock gives Mrs Grumble a higher rating).

But he has never dropped “rancidification” into a speech or any of the articles he has submitted to the Bush Telegraph.

Alf’s constituents are all above average in the IQ department and will not need to check out what it means. Many of them, moreover, are familiar with the dairy industry, where product is apt to go rancid.

But for readers beyond the boundaries of Eketahuna North, maybe these definitions will help.

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Forget about racism for now – the Human Rights Commission is checking out the use of a vile word

March 25, 2011

Alf is grateful to the Busted Blond for introducing him to a new and very naughty word to be used on occasions when a gross insult is intended.

Alf imagines he will make great use of it, henceforth, because his current stock of insults has lost its sting from over-use.

The word is pokokohua.

BB says there’s a shortened version of the word – hua – which is used down south.

Its a well used southern curse of the vilest kind. Its a bit like saying motherf**king C**t – it invokes a sense of outraged gravitas that lends punch to a decent insult.

As a child we once got a smack for using it.

So how come BB is banging on about a very naughty word?

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A blind eye is turned to Waitangi Day koha – so can other businesses charge discriminatory fees?

February 3, 2011

Horatio Nelson...he would have spotted the discrimination even if he looked with his blind eye.

Alf was driven yesterday to question what is so big deal about the Maori way of sorting out Hone Harawira’s differences with the rest of his Maori Party caucus.

Today he is looking into The Maori Way of plundering the Pakeha news media.

At first glimpse it seems calculated to land the buggers in big trouble with the Race Relations police.

Plans are afoot to impose a $1000 fee on the general media to go on to a marae on Waitangi Day, but no fee will be imposed on Maori media.

Hello.

Does anyone get the faintest whiff of discrimination here?

Alf imagines opening up a business – let’s say – as a barber.

He will offer free haircuts to the general population.

But if you are a Maori he will whop you with a $50 charge for his services.

No, he won’t go broke, because long before his capital has evaporated we can count on a warning shot being fired across his bows by Joris de Bres, and if the warning is ignored, he will be prosecuted.

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Welcome to Waitangi – a bothersome mix of bare bums and demands for koha

February 6, 2010

It’s hard to say which is the more bothersome. A photograph on the Stuff web-site of Prime Minister John Key being challenged as he walks on to Te Tii marae with – good grief – Titewhai Harawira.

Or the report beneath the photograph telling us that Waitangi lower marae officials have demanded a $500 fee before they will allow the media to enter the ground to cover the PM’s visit.

No, it’s not the image of Ma Harawira that Alf finds bothersome. It’s the image of the Maori gentleman doing the challenging. He’s almost starkers.

Mrs Grumble reckons this bloke has an admirable bum. Dunno about admirable. But you can certainly see all of it.

If he kitted out like that for the Sevens in Wellington, he would be arrested. The security people would regard him as a streaker waiting for his chance to dash on to the pitch.

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