The Boss has gone too far in rating Catton with McCaw and The Mad Butcher as a political pundit

February 2, 2015
A luminary whose opinions should be given lots of weight.

A luminary whose opinions should be given lots of weight.

It looks like The Boss has had an unfortunate rush of blood to the head.

He has been advising the public to give Eleanor Catton’s criticisms of his government no more credence than those of The Mad Butcher or Richie McCaw.

Alf regards this as very bad advice.

He happens to have a very high regard for the views of the Mad Butcher and Richie McCaw on any topic you might care to discuss.

The Boss should have said the views of Eleanor Catton should be given no more credence than the views of contributors to The Standard, the Daily Blog, and/or several other left-leaning blogs Alf could nominate.

He can understand why we MPs with a lean to the right have hastened to heap scorn upon the remarks uttered by Catton, author of The Luminaries and winner of the Man Booker Prize, at the Jaipur Literary Festival in India.

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Talking about sycophants (as Daffy Darien was doing last week) who is sucking up to whom here?

October 5, 2011

And who is the mystery man?

No, the unnamed gent pictured with The Mad Butcher in the Herald today is not Alf Grumble.

Yes, there is a resemblance. A slight one.

But Alf is a tad more hirsute – about two follicles more hirsute.

And Alf’s nose is more purplish.

Something to do with his drinking habits, his doctor insists.

Oh, and the clincher is that Alf would never be found with an arm around Phil Goff or Trevor Mallard.

The unnamed bloke in the picture – who shows no shame in his relationship with those two losers – can only be a Labour voter.

Whether the picture has been published on the West Coast, and whether therefore it might help Damien O’Connor’s prospects at the general election, remains to be seen.

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Let’s flag John Key’s next press conference – it will be humiliating, after a wayward wager on the Warriors

October 3, 2011

The price to be paid for taking a bad bet.

It could have been worse.

The Boss could have been as daft, in the wager department, as the retiring Green MP, Keith Locke, who made his valedictory speech last week.

Mr Locke recalled losing a bet when ACT MP Rodney Hide won the Epsom seat in 2005 and having to run down an Auckland street naked.

“I’m no less into gambling although I’m tempted to put something on the Warriors to win the NRL grand final.”

It’s a measure of his judgement that he would have lost that bet too.

Alf would never put his money on a team that is headquartered in Auckland.

But alas, The Boss is not so chary and he put his money on the Warriors, too.

Or rather, he put our flag on the outcome of the match.

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Disqualified for being sane – is that why Alf’s name is absent from today’s list of new knights?

June 7, 2010

Alf is sulking again this morning, despite Mrs Grumble’s best efforts to condition him for disappointing news.

If you were in for a knighthood, she was saying last week, the functionaries in charge of these things would have let you know.

Alf remained hopeful.

But no, damn it, he has missed out again.

The best construction he can put on the absence of his name from the list of Queen’s Birthday Honours published today is that they are honouring lunatics these days instead of hard-working, long-serving members for Eketahuna North.

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