English royals are not beyond being convicted but a Kiwi judge regards a Maori royal as special

July 4, 2014
And one day the cap may make way for a crown.

And one day the cap may make way for a crown.

Princess Anne, back in 2002, became the first member of the Royal Family to be charged and convicted of a criminal offence. The first in modern days, at least.

This was a black day for Alf, who holds the royals in high esteem.

The only daughter of Queen Elizabeth pleaded guilty to allowing her bull terrier to run loose and attack two children.

The Guardian reported at the time :

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It was a big mistake – and a sin – to steal the chapel collection, but whose money is it?

June 26, 2014

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Alf is feeling a great deal of sympathy for the hospital chaplain who has been stabbed by some low-life plonker in Taranaki.

He is also absorbing the profound theological implications of what happened – along with the semantic lessons.

You could argue the chaplain contributed to the mischief done to him by trying to hold on to some money.

The ownership of this money could be in dispute. Was it the chaplain’s or was it God’s, and if it was God’s, might God have given it to an impoverished down-and-outer?

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There’s a Biblical defence for stoning brats but not (alas) for beating the buggers with alkathene pipes

December 18, 2009

Alf has lots of sympathy for the 80-year-old bloke who believed he was following the Bible when he used an alkathene pipe to punish a child for stealing $1000 from him.

The man, who has interim named suppression, yesterday pleaded guilty in the New Plymouth District Court to two charges of assaulting a child and assault with a blunt instrument between November 1 and December 7.

When arrested, the man told police that he was frustrated by the child’s behaviour and had been “seeking to correct him in the manner described in the Bible”.

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