If Tiger Woods must be called an arsehole, he is a Cablinasian arsehole, not a black one

November 7, 2011

Look hard at this, Steve - he's not black.

Kiwi bag carrier Steve Williams gets an undue amount of publicity for a golf caddie.

A flair for shooting his mouth off, then saying sorry, helps explain what gets him into the headlines.

His latest indiscretion has been to call Tiger Woods a black arsehole.

This was wrong.

No, Alf is making no judgement on whether Woods is an arsehole. He is in no position to say, although he does recognise that Tiger seems to have been a prodigious shagger.

But the record should show that Woods is neither black nor an unadulterated African-American.

He is of mixed race and has strived over the years to impress this on people.

Steve Williams should know this, after working for several years as Woods’ caddie (and pocketing a handsome income as a consequence).

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Pansy comes up smelling (almost) like roses but there’s a whiff of something curious around Sammy

December 4, 2010

So did Sammy hook or slice to finish up in the rough?

Bugger. The report into former cabinet minister Pansy Wong’s use of her travel perks is bad news for Alf’s ministerial ambitions.

It has raised Pansy’s hopes of returning to Cabinet, and hence has generated a bit more competition for ministerial jobs.

“While it is my hope to return to Cabinet, I understand that it has to be earned, and my energy and focus now will be used to serve the people of Botany and promoting the interests of ethnic communities across our country. I am looking forward to returning to Parliament.”

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The tremendous talent of Eldrick Tont Wood – top performances without using drugs to lift his game

April 6, 2010

The triumphant end to playing a round.

Alf admits to being overwhelmed by tremendous envy on reading:

Tiger Woods Says He Never Used HGH, Any Other Performance Drugs

The headline refers, of course, to Eldrick Tont “Tiger” Woods (born December 30, 1975), the American professional golfer whose accomplishments rank him among the most successful golfers of all time.

The headline was generated by an answer to a question at a press conference in the USA overnight.

He was asked about a Canadian doctor under investigation for giving banned drugs to athletes. This doctor never injected him with human growth hormone, he said.

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Tiagra – or how to match it with a randy golfer and put a Tiger in your tank

December 17, 2009

Alf remembers it as a great advertising slogan: Put a Tiger in your Tank.

It was developed for Esso gasoline by McCann-Erickson back in 1964.

The reasoning behind the slogan:

The tiger is seen as the king of the forest. It epitomizes regality, supremcy strength, and energy. Don’t you like having the king enpowering you as you speed down the highway fast and free?

Alf wonders if Esso would be quite so keen on the tiger idea nowadays.