It’s a monstrous case of media discrimination – the cameras follow Carter but again give Alf a miss

December 23, 2010

Bugger - who let the TV3 cameras in on my Christmas?

So why haven’t the buggers in the Speaker’s Office alerted the news media to Alf’s holiday travel plans?

He would jump at the chance to be pictured climbing into his modest Mazda Atenza – a 2004 job – before driving to Taihape for a modest Christmas dinner with other members of the modest Grumble family.

Indeed, he offered TV3 a few hundred bucks if they would take such pictures and screen them on their news programme, but they somewhat impolitely turned down the offer.

The problem, probably, is that he is happily married to Mrs Grumble and they have three children and several grandchildren (Alf has lost count of how many exactly). This makes him remarkably ordinary, despite his accomplishments on behalf of his electorate.

Hence Alf is throughly pissed off to learn that Chris Carter, the bald-pated poof who happens to be an MP on the other side of the parliamentary divide, is saying the media have ruined his summer holiday after the itinerary for his taxpayer-subsidised trip to Sri Lanka was leaked.

Read the rest of this entry »


What’s that strong pong of hypocrisy? Ah, it’s coming from Goff’s housing arrangements

December 17, 2010

The taxpayers keep filling this one for me, so why should I feed from my own trough?

Alf can’t say it better than Whaleoil, when it comes to discussing the rank hypocrisy of Labour’s Phil Goff. Constituents should read his post on the subject today.

Essentially, Whaleoil reminds us how Labour has persistently been putting the boot into our Bill English over the double dipping thing, perfectly legal though it happened to be.

But – as we learned last night – Goff is up to much the same sort of lark.

Alf will only add to Whaleoil’s account that he was thoroughly pissed off in the House this week when Amy Adams was doing a splendid job of extracting important stuff from English about the economy at Question Time.

Read the rest of this entry »


It’s not too late to find a Minister who won’t buckle on foreshore and seabed demands

April 11, 2010

How about this spot for a hotel, bro?

An Attorney-General and Treaty Negotiations Minister with more backbone is desperately needed. A bloke like Alf.

Fair to say, Alf did volunteer his services to The Boss before the Cabinet was selected after the last election. John Key said the job required a greater knowledge of legal stuff than Alf’s regular viewing a few years back of Rumpole and, more recently, Boston Legal.

Chris Finlayson was his choice.

A dubious one, as things are turning out.

Alf observes that the Government’s proposals to replace the Foreshore and Seabed Act ran into opposition at the very first meeting on the issue.

Mr Finlayson was attending a hui in Picton, the first of 22 meetings to be held throughout the country.

Maori attending the hui at Waikawa Marae raised concerns about having to prove customary rights in the Government’s preferred option.

It seems several iwi representatives said that they should not have to prove their rights and that customary rights should be restored to what they were before the legislation was changed.

So what’s the next thing we learn?

Fasten your seat belts, folks.

TV3 told us last night –

The Treaty Negotiations Minister Chris Finlayson has made some major concessions tonight on the Government’s proposals on the foreshore and seabed.

One bloody meeting so far with a few stroppy Maori, a few objections raised, and Finlayson is making bloody concessions?

What sort of shape will we be in at the end of the consultation process?

Read the rest of this entry »


Welcome to Waitangi – a bothersome mix of bare bums and demands for koha

February 6, 2010

It’s hard to say which is the more bothersome. A photograph on the Stuff web-site of Prime Minister John Key being challenged as he walks on to Te Tii marae with – good grief – Titewhai Harawira.

Or the report beneath the photograph telling us that Waitangi lower marae officials have demanded a $500 fee before they will allow the media to enter the ground to cover the PM’s visit.

No, it’s not the image of Ma Harawira that Alf finds bothersome. It’s the image of the Maori gentleman doing the challenging. He’s almost starkers.

Mrs Grumble reckons this bloke has an admirable bum. Dunno about admirable. But you can certainly see all of it.

If he kitted out like that for the Sevens in Wellington, he would be arrested. The security people would regard him as a streaker waiting for his chance to dash on to the pitch.

Read the rest of this entry »


Our big chance to flock to Te Reo commentaries

October 14, 2009

It looks like the nation is being given a splendid opportunity to express the strength of its enthusiasm for part-Maori rugby commentaries. Or not.

We will be able to cast our votes by tuning into an all-English broadcast – or by opting for broadcasts which include a 5-10% smattering of Te Reo.

The chance to cast these votes is about the only good that comes from the shambles of the battle to win free-to-air Rugby World Cup broadcast rights.

Maori Affairs Minister Pita Sharples is kicking up a fuss this morning about the gazzumping of the Maori Television Service’s attempt to secure the rights. But let’s face it – he contributed to the shambles by failing to mention to Cabinet colleagues his approval of the spending of $3m of Te Puni Kokiri money for the Maori service to secure the bid.

Read the rest of this entry »


Answer no and you’ll be accused of racism

October 10, 2009

The Herald asks a silly question today, apropos the fuss over Maori Television Service’s bid – buttressed by $3 million of your money and mine – to secure free-to-air broadcasting rights for the Rugby World Cup.

The question is: Would you be happy to watch Rugby World Cup games on Maori TV?

Answer no, and there’s a fair chance you’ll be branded a racist.

Anyway, being “happy” about watching the games on Maori TV is not the point.

Let’s put the question a different way.

Should the free-to-air broadcasting rights go to

* A TV channel which will finance its bid with $3 million of tax money (your dosh and mine) and then require you to get a rudimentary grip on another language to understand all of the commentary? Or

Read the rest of this entry »


Here’s one way of muting Kedgley

March 24, 2009

Perhaps we should ship the Greens” Sue Kedgley to Saudi Arabia. Or anywhere.

That way, we would be rid of her constant bleating about farm practices, and seriously reduce the shrillness levels in Wellington at the same time.
Read the rest of this entry »