Speaker steers us away from the godless path that would have taken Christmas dinner out of our lives

December 9, 2014

Well done David Carter.

The Speaker of the House has announced that the traditional prayer he uses to open daily sittings of Parliament will remain as it is, with its Christian references.

As the Herald reports:

He undertook a very low-key consultation process with MPs and offered an alternative that would remove religious references to “Almight God” and “Jesus Christ our Lord” from the English version.

However his alternative prayer included lines in Maori – E te Atua Kaha Rawa – that translates to “Almighty God,” something Assistant Speaker Trevor Mallard described as “almost dishonest.”

As well as that, the Speaker would have included a daily acknowledgment to the local tribe Te Ati Awa.

Mr Carter would entertain no debate on an alternative; it would be either the current prayer or the alternative he proposed.

He refused any comment, clearly seeing it as a matter only for MPs.

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A bit left of centre you’ll find a feller who is trying to flush out how Steffan Browning earns his keep

October 28, 2014

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Alf took umbrage yesterday at a Stuff political hack’s focus on the fall of two former ministers, Crusher Collins and Maurice Williamson, to the bottom of the party pecking order.

Trouble was, this hack also saw fit to disclose their pay and perk entitlements.

This was discomforting for the Member for Eketahuna North because it was apt to give his constituents a pretty good idea of his earnings.

But today is another day and – hey – there has been a change of heart.

That’s because Alf has been familiarising himself with a new blog, Slightly Left of Centre, operated by a feisty  bugger by name of Josh Foreman.

This Foreman feller questioned the Greens about what Steffan Browning has done to earn his keep.

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Steve Gibson’s handicap: he’s too fricking honest for the good of the Labour Party

September 9, 2014
Drink up ... it's a truth drug.

Drink up … it’s a truth drug.

The remarkably stormy political career of a leftie by name of Steve Gibson was entirely predictable.

By his own account, the Labour Party’s Rangitata candidate is “too fricking honest”.

This clearly disqualifies him from standing for any party run by lefties or greenies and Alf is astonished that he ever signed up with any party with those leanings.

It was inevitable that David Cunliffe would soon be saying Gibson has no future as a Labour candidate.

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Get back to broadcasting, Pam – telling the press to piss off won’t get policy into the headlines

August 25, 2014
"Great news, people - it looks like I won't have to wave my undies."

“Great news, people – it looks like I won’t have to wave my undies.”

Alf remembers the potty-mouthed Pam Corkery (and not too fondly) from the days when she was a Member of Parliament for the Anderton Mob and rejoiced when she gave it away to go back to broadcasting.

She should have stuck to broadcasting and not taken another crack at politicking as press secretary for the Internet Party’s leader, Laila Harre.

She was an Alliance list MP and a colleague of Harre back in those days for just one term, from 1996 to 1999. Then she quit.

We must suppose the only politicians with whom she became acquainted during those three years were greenies and pinkos, because – as the Herald reminds us today:

In her 1999 book, Pam’s Political Confessions, she said, “Politicians are, by and large, far more self-deluding, devious, bloated, insecure, egocentric w****** than I had feared.”

She certainly did not exchange pleasantries with Alf at that time, to find there are politicians who do not meet her disparaging description.

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Labour’s exorbitant liquor lark – $100,000 for a bottle of Clark Gargle looks a bit rich

June 22, 2014
Barker got the lolly ... Cunliffe has copped the hangover.

Liu’s partner got wine, Rick Barker got forgetful … and Cunliffe has got the hangover.

The authorities who police these things should take a bloody hard look at the way the Labour Party has got into the liquor trade.

Alf’s good mate Whale Oil drew attention a few weeks ago to a Labour Party fund-raiser in South Auckland, when those in attendance tossed coins at a bottle of whisky.

Alf’s fondness for good scotch might have tempted him to have a go at winning the bottle by these means, but he would have balked at having to travel to Auckland – a sad city he prefers to avoid – and he has been programmed never to do anything that would benefit the Labour Party.

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The case for being rid of roads is much stronger than the case for removing wi-fi from schools

December 31, 2013

So how can we keep our kiddies safe?

By getting rid of roads, for starters.

There’s a much stronger case for banning roads than banning wi-fi.

How many deaths attributed to proximity to wi-fi have been recorded in New Zealand over the Christmas holidays?

None.

Come to think of it, how many deaths can be attributed to wi-fi anywhere at any time?

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Ah – now we know (and so does Len Brown) what happens when a mistress’s world falls apart

October 17, 2013

Gotta say it’s fascinating to learn what impulses kick in, when you lose an election.

This has never happened to your hard-working member for Eketahuna North, of course. It is a measure of his popularity and the voting public’s huge regard for him that he has galloped home by the proverbial country mile every time his name has been on a ballot paper.

The Labour sheila who stood against him at the last election perhaps had no expectation of winning. Hence her world did not fall apart when the inevitable happened and she was soundly defeated.

Not so in the case of the sheila at the centre of the Len Brown sex scandal.

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