Mrs Grumble has taken to her bed after another blow on the Coronation Street front.
She became seriously depressed at news of the TVNZ tossers planning to switch the soap’s screening time.
But now one of her favourite characters – or rather, the actor who plays him – has fallen foul of the law.
A teenager has accused Coronation Street actor Michael Le Vell of raping her when she was six years old.
Mr Le Vell, 46, who has played mechanic Kevin Webster in the soap for 28 years, has reportedly been left reeling from the accusations.
He is currently out on bail until November 16 on the condition he does not approach the girl after being arrested on September 30.
Alf is apt to be suspicious of blokes with surnames like Le Vell, but Mrs Grumble makes the favourable observation that this feller married his childhood sweetheart – she is Janette Beverley, 45, an actress who starred in a British TV show in the 1990s
But as it turns out, Le Vell is not his real name – it is Michael Turner – and we can only wonder what the hell possessed him to turn a splendid surname like Turner into a tosser’s surname, Le Vell.
The teenage complainant lodged her complaint on September 29 via a video interview and Le Vell was arrested on suspicion next day under his real name.
He was hauled off to the police station and questioned by detectives for almost eight hours.
Le Vell is one of the longest-serving actors in Coronation Street.
He has strenuously denied the allegations “and will do everything in my power to prove my innocence.”
He was said to be distraught and horrified by the accusations.
A friend said: ‘This has left him shattered. It came completely out of the blue. The police just arrived at his home at breakfast time, told him of the allegations and arrested him on the spot. He was extremely shocked.
‘He was taken down to the police station like a criminal and was horrified by the whole thing. It has left him distraught and upset and he looks really, really drained.
‘He holds quite strict moral opinions so the arrest is even more shocking for his friends to understand.’
Alf knows full well that a bloke must be presumed innocent until proven guilty.
He furthermore observes that Kevin Webster enjoys a pint or two, which stands in his favour.
And Alf is very uncomfortable about the accusations levelled by teenagers who suddenly remember something that happened years ago, when they were just out of nappies.
But holding strict moral opinions does not make a bloke incapable of tampering with the virtue of under-age children.
Just ask Graham Capill, the Bible-banging disgraced politician and former police prosecutor who recently was freed after more than six years behind bars for child sex offences.
I’m standing firm with Mrs Alf on the matter of Coro St.
In light of the blog subject, you’d be safer to stand flacid…