Turei says the Greens are spoiled for choice but this depends (surely) on the calibre she will settle for

Green Party co-leader Metiria Turei may well be right when she says the party has no shortage of male candidates from which to pick a replacement for Russel Norman.

Twenty-one of the 39 names on the party’s list for the 2014 election were blokes – or rather, were people with male names. But to be frank, the Grumbles would never have given names like Steffan or Reuben to their lads because they were sure this would impede their All Black prospects.

Three more of the names on the list might be males but, alas, it’s hard to tell.  The first name of one of them is Sea, another is Aaryn and a third is Umesh.  Alf is writing this in some haste, because he is keen to get down to the boozer to join his mates, so hasn’t had time to check out their genders.

But Turei has gone further than claiming she has no shortage of male candidates. She claimed there is no shortage of high-calibre candidates.

The truth of this is not so obvious, although the Greens may well employ a different measure of calibre than the measure employed by Alf.

Sorry to hear Mike Sabin is quitting but let’s look on the bright side for law and order

 

And if we can’t find a stretch of clean water – too bad.

Alf has been hugely heartened by the opportunity which opened today for him to replace Mike Sabin as chairman of the select committee that deals with law and order matters. It’s a great chance to promote a harder stance on crime and criminals.

Sabin, of course, has been at the centre of reports he is being investigated by police over an alleged assault.

Alf would have thought an alleged assault is easily investigated. He is bothered at having to suppose that, if there has been such an investigation, the matter of who did what to whom has taken a helluva long time to sort out.

Trouble is, Mike became awfully circumspect about the the matter and The Boss’s silence hasn’t helped stem the flow of conjecture and rumour.

Sort it out, Amy – and give judges back the power to decide when restorative justice should kick in

Alf would have counselled Restorative Justice Aotearoa to lie low and stay stum about changes to the Sentencing Act, which came into effect on Monday 6 December.

As a namby-pamby bunch on law-and-order matters, they were unlikely to be too fussed about the backlog of cases building up in the courts. And of justice delays being justice denied.

They put their emphasis on the changes to the Sentencing Act being intended to make restorative justice services more accessible in the District Court.

This – of course – means work and more money for their members.

The changes have stripped judges of their discretion to decide if restorative justice process is appropriate.

Moreover South Island lawyers are complaining that Christchurch’s restorative justice programme is so under-resourced that every week it falls another six weeks behind.

Amy Adams is going to check it out. 

 

It’s just an idea to help pay off those fines – why not export surplus moggies as tucker for the Swiss?

Hold on, son … we should cook it first.

Alf has some advice for an Invercargill woman who has been given 21 days to dispose of 22 of the cats at her city home.

She would be doing our export drive a favour if she takes this advice, which is to slaughter the cats and ship them off to a country where the people fancy making a meal of a moggy.

The woman is Averil Gardiner.

A district court judge has found charges against her proved.

Crikey, cobber – if the Aussies were to change their flag, one reason for changing ours would be gone

Some Aussie bloke has popped up to wave the flag for a change of flag.

The Aussie flag, let’s be clear.

He’s a broadcaster by name of Ray Martin, which suggests his mouth is probably given more exercise than his brain, and accordingly his opinions should be regarded with a certain wariness.

But Alf is prepared to back the bugger on this occasion.

For starters, he was surprised to find an Aussie who knows how to spell “flag” and will be even more impressed if he finds an Aussie who knows how to fly one.

Saudi Arabia’s illiberal views on liquor are a good reason for staying away from condolence ceremony

It looks likely to be a more effective deterrent than home detention.

Alf is somewhat bemused to learn the Governor-General will represent New Zealand at the funeral of the Saudi King Abdullah.

Frankly, he wouldn’t bother sending anybody if he was calling the shots.

But if somebody must go – well, he is pleased the job hasn’t been given to him.

Accordingly he is pleased that Sir Jerry Mateparae will travel to Saudi Arabia for the ceremony of condolences for King Abdullah bin Abdulaziz Al Saud, who died on Friday, aged 90.

Some world leaders have already arrived there.

But what sort of place have they gone to and how many plaudits should be heaped on the late King?

 

Annette King can now say her Mercedes Benz was Borrowed – but what were they doing at Ratana?

Alf has been invited to spare a thought for Chester Borrows, the National MP for Whanganui, who has made a dick of himself at Ratana.

He backed into a car “in front of a gaggle of chortling political journos”.

This news prompted Alf to spare some thoughts for the hacks in the Parliamentary Press Gallery.

“A gaggle of chortling journos” pretty well sums them up in just a few words.

As for Chester Borrows, frankly Alf finds him a bit of a plod and not his favourite person in the caucus.

Moreover Alf was not invited to be one of the MPs who travelled with Borrows to the Ratana celebrations.

This is just as well, as it turns out.

If we oldies can get to bed at a respectable hour, there’s no need for pubs to stay open until dawn

Alf observes with some fascination the goings-on about boozing hours in Wellington.

The rejection of Wellington City Council plans for bar hours has implications for councils in other parts of the country. Hence it may affect the Tararua District Council’s thinking on what is allowable in its patch, and this in turn would affect Alf’s lifestyle.

This means that councils across the county (according to Radio NZ) may struggle to enforce any policies allowing bars to stay open beyond 4am.

Alf can advise his constituents (who are well aware of his habits, anyway) that his lifestyle certainly would not be affected by any requirement for pubs to shut by 4am, because at that hour he has long ago gone home to snuggle down with Mrs Grumble or (sometimes) be put to bed in the spare room.

 

Waikato ratepayers are tapped for environmental project that made headlines when war broke out

Alf observes with some bemusement another cost heaped on residents of the Waikato.

They will be pouring more money into Maungataurari Ecological Island, described by the local newspaper as “”the jewel in the region’s environmental crown”.

But it is struggling financially and regional councillors have come to its assistance.

Not with their money, obviously. Nope. Ratepayers’ money.

Discussion on funding for the Maungatautari Ecological Island Trust (MEIT) resumed yesterday at Waikato Regional Council talks on the 2015-2025 Draft Long Term Plan.

Debate raged over two days but councillors voted 9 to 5, to commit $300,000 each year to the wildlife refuge for three years.

New information delayed proceedings overnight and when the MEIT annual report was presented, it showed an organisation “living hand-to-mouth”.

Their financial report for the year ending June 2014 showed income was down more than $450,000 on the previous year. This was due in part to the Sirocco effect – the famed kakapo who enticed visitors through the gates to the value of $200,000.

There was a $123,000 cash surplus from operations and, in the annual report, accountant Graham Scott said MEIT was heavily reliant on regional and central government funding.

What do silly Aucklanders want to protect? Oh, yes – some trees that elsewhere are shunned as weeds

So who’s got the Roundup?

Alf’s world is in a serious state of upheaval.  He was not approached by Fairfax hacks to contribute to a video and newspaper report in which Eketahuna residents share their memories of the 6.2 earthquake that rocked his neighbourhood at 3:52pm on Monday 20th January, 2014

At the same time the Grumbles have learned (a) that Dierde Barlow has died, (b) that The Sun may be stripped of its Page 3 girl and (c) moves are afoot to reduce if not eliminate sledging from international cricket, which is the best bit of the game in Alf’s view.

But you can be sure there are some tossers elsewhere who have got their knickers in a twist on much more trivial matters.

And yep.

You can find them in Auckland, according to a Radio NZ report which curiously combines good old English with Te Reo.