Crusher has been thrown (or thrown herself) to the wolves – but the wolves should beware

August 31, 2014
Kevin Sknner gave us a lesson in the useful application of a a bit of biffo.

Kevin Skinner gave us a lesson in the useful application of a bit of biffo.

Alf and his true-blue mates were dismayed by news of Crusher’s resignation as a Minister.

Fair to say, Alf’s dismay was tempered by the realisation – “hope” might be a better word – that this may well mean The Boss promotes him to the ministerial job that has been his ambition for some time.

But for now, those ambitions are being kept very private and for public purposes – well, the Member for Eketahuna North is declaring that he is devastated.

He is also highly disapproving of Labour’s leaping in to exploit Crusher’s plight.

Of course, that’s what one would expect from a bunch of lefties and greenies whose political aspirations far exceed their collective talents.

Hence they are apt to be desperate.

Read the rest of this entry »

Advertisements

Dame Trelise and Lorde injected a Kiwi element into a sorry week for public apologies

August 30, 2014
Alf presumably caused offence when he rode a bike like this.

Alf presumably caused offence when he rode a bike like this.

Alf was bemused by the haste with which a designer apologised for including a few feathers in a fashion show.

Feathers are culturally unacceptable – it transpires – when you stick ’em in a headdress and put the headdress on the head of anybody other than a male native-American with the appropriate chiefly qualifications to wear it.

Trelise Cooper was obviously oblivious to the rulebook that governs these matters.

On learning of her breach she apologised for featuring the feathered head gear, saying it was a mistake and admitting her ignorance.
Read the rest of this entry »


GE Free Luddites give us a laugh (but not intentionally) by advising Fonterra not to kill babies

August 29, 2014
If grandma must suck eggs, she will be hard-pressed to find inorganic ones.

If grandma must suck eggs, where must she go to find inorganic ones?

What a glorious example of teaching your grandma to suck eggs.

They will be free-range, no doubt, and “organic” for good measure.

GE Free New Zealand, a bunch of latter-day Luddite agitators, has told Fonterra it must ensure food safety with its infant formula exports into China.

It must do what?

Ensure its infant formula doesn’t kill the customers?

Are they for real?

Read the rest of this entry »


The cops must be more careful now, so let’s find another way of putting Labour out of its misery

August 28, 2014
It was never going to win, anyway, and now it can be turned into dog tucker.

It was never going to win, anyway, so we should turn it into dog tucker.

Well, who’d have believed it?

It seems the cops sometimes exceed their authority in shutting down out-of-control parties.

That’s what the Independent Police Conduct Authority report has found, according to a report in the NZ Herald.

Alf had hoped the cops could do anything they bloody well liked to shut down a too-boisterous party.

It seems not, although the authority has acknowledged police are often confronted with difficult situations when called to deal with such incidents.

Read the rest of this entry »


It’s no fun, being on the campaign trail in Epsom with a true-blue MP who aims to lose

August 27, 2014
When they told him to take a dive, this isn't what they intended.

When they told him to take a dive, this isn’t what they intended.

Gotta say Alf happened to be in Epsom yesterday (getting back home explains the tardiness in posting this item).

And he happened upon that Goldsmith feller about the same time as the Herald.

The bugger was out campaigning to lose which is much the same as throwing a fight in the boxing ring or doing whatever bent cricketers do to help some gambling enterprise.

If you know he has been hobbled – yeah, all for the good of the National Party, so it must be okay – it’s not much fun to watch.

It’s not much fun listening to him explain what’s going on, either .

As the Herald observes today, Paul doesn’t want to win the electorate vote and hence was fielding questions from voters on just who they should be backing.

Read the rest of this entry »


Andrew’s political career is over, they say, but he ran out of luck when he fell to No 13 on the list

August 26, 2014
End of the line for Andy?

So Andy is in for the chop?

Alf has been delighting today in the NZ Herald’s recollections of the ups and downs of a certain Andrew Williams.

The latest news is that New Zealand First looks likely to dump him because he antagonised its hierarchy by publicly complaining about his demotion in the party’s draft list.

It was news to Alf, of course, that the party has a hierarchy.

He thought it had one chief, Winston Peters, and a few Indians. But not much, organisationally, in between.

It was not news that Williams’ political career is in trouble. He had stuck his neck out and…

Read the rest of this entry »


Get back to broadcasting, Pam – telling the press to piss off won’t get policy into the headlines

August 25, 2014
"Great news, people - it looks like I won't have to wave my undies."

“Great news, people – it looks like I won’t have to wave my undies.”

Alf remembers the potty-mouthed Pam Corkery (and not too fondly) from the days when she was a Member of Parliament for the Anderton Mob and rejoiced when she gave it away to go back to broadcasting.

She should have stuck to broadcasting and not taken another crack at politicking as press secretary for the Internet Party’s leader, Laila Harre.

She was an Alliance list MP and a colleague of Harre back in those days for just one term, from 1996 to 1999. Then she quit.

We must suppose the only politicians with whom she became acquainted during those three years were greenies and pinkos, because – as the Herald reminds us today:

In her 1999 book, Pam’s Political Confessions, she said, “Politicians are, by and large, far more self-deluding, devious, bloated, insecure, egocentric w****** than I had feared.”

She certainly did not exchange pleasantries with Alf at that time, to find there are politicians who do not meet her disparaging description.

Read the rest of this entry »