The saving of Prince Harry

Great news today from Britain’s Telegraph. Paris Hilton has ruled out a romance with Prince Harry because of her friendship with Chelsy Davy.

Of Prince Harry, who recently split from girlfriend Chelsy Davy, she said: “I think he’s a nice guy, I love Chelsy though – I think she’s so sweet – so I wouldn’t try anything.”

Last year it was reported that Prince Harry ignored Miss Hilton’s attempts to attract his attention while dancing at a London nightclub.

Alf – an unabashed royalist – is enormously heartened by the Hilton bint’s remarks. Princess Paris? Hideous.

And the prospect of her genes tainting those of the royal-blue-blooded Windsors was more upsetting to him than the sobering item from Homepaddock on the latest Fonterra dairy payout forecast.

A thought flickered into his head: what sort of return could Harry expect for the product from a ditsy heifer called Hilton? The mind boggles.

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