Great news today from Britain’s Telegraph. Paris Hilton has ruled out a romance with Prince Harry because of her friendship with Chelsy Davy.
Of Prince Harry, who recently split from girlfriend Chelsy Davy, she said: “I think he’s a nice guy, I love Chelsy though – I think she’s so sweet – so I wouldn’t try anything.”
Last year it was reported that Prince Harry ignored Miss Hilton’s attempts to attract his attention while dancing at a London nightclub.
Alf – an unabashed royalist – is enormously heartened by the Hilton bint’s remarks. Princess Paris? Hideous.
And the prospect of her genes tainting those of the royal-blue-blooded Windsors was more upsetting to him than the sobering item from Homepaddock on the latest Fonterra dairy payout forecast.
A thought flickered into his head: what sort of return could Harry expect for the product from a ditsy heifer called Hilton? The mind boggles.
Alf Grumble 