Do the sums: paper boys don’t vote and 600 or so lost elderly votes won’t be crippling

The 500 or so folk who attended the National Party’s northern regional convention in Auckland yesterday were addressed by Bill English, who would have cheered them up hugely by telling them National will romp home for a third term at the next election.

He reeled off a few vital points in our favour, such as maintaining public trust by continuing to deliver on the party’s promises and not bringing in unexpected large-scale changes.

Alf would like to heave heard this himself, after sitting through the session that enacted legislation putting into effect tax changes set out in the Budget.

It was the Taxation (Budget Measures) Bill, which scrapped a few tax credits of no great consequence.

Waikato Regional Council succumbs to the view that Maori need electoral mollycoddling

Oh, jolly good. The Waikato Regional Council has got into the spirit of things and is making special electoral arrangements for its special citizens.

The democratically elected council thus is doing something akin to what happened on Animal Farm, where the seven original laws made way for just one: “All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others”.

And so the council will favour its Maori citizens (who already have the right to stand for office and to vote) by establishing two Maori seats (where strictly ethnic eligibility criteria will apply and Maori citizens may elect Maori candidates).

General constituency boundaries are being changed, too.

Actually, Alf does not much approve of this debasing of our democracy.

But trying to tell the council this will be a big waste of time.

Bigger is better (Alf was arguing) but the Budget provides an exemption for Maori immersion schools

Quality should come before quantity.

Alf is pleased to report the Budget recognises Maori as “special”.

Or rather, it acknowledges that Maori hold a special status as tangata whenua.

It is exempting Maori immersion schools from increases in class size announced yesterday.

For good measure, the admirable Pita Sharples announced that the Government would spend $76.4 million over four years to improve Maori students’ results.

The plan to increase class sizes – when it was announced recently – triggered the usual hollering of protest from teacher and parent groups.

They didn’t take on board the emphasis your admirable National-led government would be heaping on lifting the quality of the teaching.

What’s better for your kid – being taught by a bloody good teacher in a class of 30 or by a bloody awful teacher in a class of 15?

So – quality versus volume.

Dotcom: the Crown is becoming a tad tarnished in dealings with a country that rejected it

The Government’s lawyers will be wishing they had never bumped into Kim Dotcom and the curious copyright case in which he has become embroiled.

Dotcom (if you need reminding) founded a file-sharing site, Megaupload, which happens to be a business enterprise doing things far beyond Alf’s technical comprehension.

He is accused of breaching copyright laws, so costing owners more than US$500 million ($665 million), which US authorities have called the mega conspiracy.

He is now on bail awaiting an extradition hearing in August.

But Alf has been mortified to learn the Crown seems to have made a botch of things, one way and another, and this botching has been exposed to the public in the courts.

This time Crown lawyers have been ordered to explain how the FBI left the country with evidence that was meant to be kept in “secure custody” by New Zealand police.

Alf keenly looks forward to hearing the answer.

You need lots of hide and bravado – but not much brain power – to play the branding game

And after we’ve done the cattle we can brand each other…

A new game is being played in the Wairarapa.

Dunno how many people are playing, but Alf has no burning urge to give it a go.

Stuff introduces us to the game this morning in an item about a young farming student who has spent five days in hospital after he and two fellow students played.

Page Gilmour, 17, went to Masterton Hospital after a large burn on his arm became infected after the incident at a Wairarapa wool shed this month.

It’s described as a “branding game”.

And, at first blush, the rules aren’t too complicated.

Workman and McVicar welcome prison policy – but who honestly believes the Beehive numbers?

Dunno what to make of the first sentence of a media release yesterday from Corrections Minister Anne Tolley and Associate Corrections Minister Dr Pita Sharples.

The statement was headed Budget 2012: Reducing reoffending, victims of crime

Alf is all in favour of reducing reoffending so was keen to find out what’s doing.

The statement kicks off –

Budget 2012 will contribute to a 25 per cent reduction in reoffending by 2017, and 18,500 fewer victims of crime every year from 2017, Corrections Minister Anne Tolley and Associate Corrections Minister Dr Pita Sharples say.

The moves are part of the Prime Minister’s expectations for a more efficient and results-driven public service.

This looks awfully like a promise of the sort we Nats can’t keep and accordingly it should have been couched in the bullshit language that our highly paid spin doctors are good at employing on these occasions, to give us an “out”.

But no. We have said re-offending will have been reduced by 25 per cent by 2017.

The case for scrapping namby-pamby child-rearing is reinforced – so bring back whacking now

Its bring-back-the-birch day for your hard-working MP.

Actually, every day is bring-back-the birch day for him, but three separate stories at Stuff highlight the need for parents to give up their molly-coddling approach to discipline.

The same goes for teachers.

The Bible Says:

“He who spareth the rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him correcteth him betimes” (Proverbs

We are ignoring this good advice: we are sparing the rod and spoiling the sprogs.

Sorry, folks, but Joris thinks we are too ill-informed (or stupid?) to be allowed to vote on some matters

The voters of Nelson have spoken – convincingly – on what they think about the provision of a race-based Maori seat on their local council.

They have rejected a proposal that a dedicated Maori ward be established, a move the city council itself supported.

Actually, you could say the voters have been thoroughly outspoken on the matter.

Wish you were here in Syria (but only if you voted for anyone but National last year)

Well bugger me, what do they expect, Alf mused on learning of some of the latest antics of the ruffians who run Syria.

The scoundrels have complained to the United Nations that Syria’s tourism industry has been severely damaged by the 14-month conflict between government forces and rebels fighting to overthrow President Bashar al-Assad.

The prospect of being embroiled in something nasty and of the conflict becoming a civil war perhaps explains some of the reluctance of tourists to go sight-seeing in Syria.

A few years ago the Grumbles were tempted to visit the place on the advice of a bloke called Douglas Scott in an item headed Syrian People Are Friendly on a travel website.

A zero Budget seems appropriate for a world which is headed for Doomsday

So why bother with five-year forecasts?

Dunno how to raise this small matter with Bill English.

But Alf has to say a huge amount of the Minister’s work is about to become a huge waste of time.

As most of us know, Bill has been tidying up the 2012/13 Budget and several announcements about its contents (the more generous ones) have been announced already.

The Budget speech will be next Tuesday.

The politicians, journalists, economists and hordes of others will then wade through the carton of documents accompanying the Budget speech.

One thing we know is that it will be a zero budget.

This means it will be stacked with figures, many of them zeros.

Special attention will be paid to the Budget deficit and the steps being taken by your Government to eradicate it by 2014/15.

A great deal of austerity is being imposed on the economy to ensure we deliver our promise of this deficit.

But Alf has a troubling message for Bill: