Olly and his willy – excision was a bloody silly way to respond when girlfriend said he did not measure up

October 25, 2014

Alf has forgotten when he first learned it is imprudent to chop off your nose to spite your face. It has always struck him as being very good advice.

The expression is used to describe a needlessly self-destructive over-reaction to 271647-pantsa problem – it’s a warning against acting out of pique, or against pursuing revenge in a way that would damage oneself more than the object of one’s anger

A bit of research by dipping into Wikipedia shows the phrase may be associated with the numerous legends of pious women disfiguring themselves in order to protect their virginity.

Wikipedia gives the example of Æbbe the Younger, the Mother Superior of the monastery of Coldingham. In 867 AD, Viking pirates from Zealand and Uppsala landed in Scotland.

Read the rest of this entry »


A lesson in survival: 100 humans turned out to be too many for the well-being of 58,000 moa

October 24, 2014

"Please, sir, may we have some moa?"

“Please, sir, may we have some moa?”


Alf read with great fascination today the news – if you can call it news – that the flightless moa was doomed the moment humans landed in New Zealand.

At least, this is what new research suggests, according to this report st Stuff..

Whether they were big or small, moa were wiped out in 200 years and the last were killed nearly 600 years ago, between 1440 and 1445.

It first blush, it is hard to square this environmental vandalism with something drummed into us by our indigenous persons and by such authorities as the Ministry for the Environment), because they insist:

For Māori, the concept of kaitiakitanga is of primary importance. Kaitiakitanga is a fundamental concept of the guardianship of a resource for future generations. It is practised as part of tikanga Māori (customary values and practices).

And…

Read the rest of this entry »


Taxpayers’ Union has been discriminatory on perks – it forgets that some MPs (but not Alf) are “special”

October 23, 2014

pigs-bmp-for-web

The Taxpayers’ Union has been racially insensitive in taking a ping at the last-gasp spending of MPs who were headed for the political exit.

It has picked out two indigenous persons for special mention in a media statement, which is fair enough, at first blush, because indigenous persons are “special”.

But it has picked them out for critical mention.

This sadly overlooks the entitlement of our special persons to privileges that are not available to non-indigenous persons. These entitlements should include bigger dips into various public troughs than should be allowed for non-indigenous piggies.

Beyond that, Alf is discomforted whenever attention is drawn to MPs’ perks and spending of public money lest the media focus suddenly be turned on his spending, which would include lots of spending in the Eketahuna Club where Alf likes to treat his constituents, although some critics might not understand the need for him to treat voters who would never vote for anyone else but him.

Read the rest of this entry »


Dig this, dad – there are some things (such as tunnelling) that a lad should learn the hard way

October 21, 2014
This subway collapse shows even the professionals have lessons to learn...

This subway collapse in China shows even the professionals have lessons to learn…

Alf has a great deal of sympathy for the parents of a lad who has learned an important lesson about digging tunnels.

He heaved his dismay, however, when he learned that health and safety officials had been whistled in to find out what went wrong when a pile of soil collapsed in the McKenzie Country.

What went wrong is bleeding obvious: the lad’s tunnelling ambitions were much too ambitious, his choice of terrain into which to tunnel was ill-informed and his technique was flawed.

Nevertheless we’ve got two investigations under way to examine how a 3m dirt pile collapsed on top of a boy in Twizel at the weekend.

Read the rest of this entry »


The Dutch and Germans show the way – by sending their bikies to deal to Islamic State murderers

October 19, 2014
These Hells Angels should have been headed to Iraq and Syria instead of Nelson.

Why should they be allowed to journey to Nelson when they could let off steam in the Middle East?

Alf got another of his great ideas the other day, while reading about Dutch motorbike gang members who have reportedly joined Kurds battling the Islamic State group in Iraq.

The head of the No Surrender gang, Klaas Otto, had told state broadcaster NOS that three members who travelled to near Mosul in northern Iraq were from Amsterdam, Rotterdam and Breda.

But many countries including the Netherlands have been clamping down on countrymen (and sheilas) who try to join the IS jihadists who have taken over swathes of Iraq and Syria.

Dutch measures  include confiscating would-be jihadists’ passports before travelling and threatening prosecution should they return.

The Boss is thinking about similar measures in this country.

Read the rest of this entry »


Auckland communities are squealing for a bigger trough – and Maori want more for whanau ora

October 18, 2014
"The bloody Mayor wants to put us on short rations..."

“The bloody Mayor wants to put us on short rations…”

Auckland mayor Len Brown – we learn from the NZ Herald today – has returned from a month-long overseas holiday to a budget revolt by local boards.

A letter signed by all 21 local boards in his so-called super city expresses frustration and anger at a mayoral budget proposal to slash $1.3 billion in spending on parks, community and lifestyle.

This looks (at first blush) like a good thing, if it eases the burden on ratepayers.

But Alf is inclined to suspect the mayor does not really intend to lighten the burden on ratepayers and probably has been obliged to propose these cuts so he can spend much too much public money on other grandiose projects.

Read the rest of this entry »


A fry-up for breakfast is the way to avoid getting fat (and the eggs don’t have to be free-range)

October 17, 2014
The way to better health.

The way to better health.

Alf tucked in to a typical Grumble household breakfast this morning fortified by the knowledge he was doing the right thing, nutritionally.

He would have stuck to his usual breakfast – perhaps with a 300gm portion of black pudding thrown in and lots of chips –  even if the research showed it was bad for him, nutritionally.

But it’s pleasing to know he doesn’t have to make a case for defying the experts.

The good news for him and all fans of a fry-up was communicated by the Daily Mail.

Read the rest of this entry »


Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.