Rooftop protest could make it harder for the public to see MPs (and Annette King to skip to the loo)

Gotta say Alf hopes the book is thrown at the Greenpeace tossers who staged the day-long protest yesterday over what they say is government inaction on climate change.

Even better, let’s throw a library of books at them because this should inflict greater hurt.

The tiresome foursome are believed to have used scaffolding at the rear of Parliament to get onto the building, then make their way to the ledge which overlooks the forecourt.

Alf didn’t pay much attention to their antics, but it seems they placed solar panels there and unfurled a benner with a photo of the Prime Minister, John Key, and the words “cut pollution, create jobs – yeah, nah”.

Not all MPs were too dismayed but according to Radio NZ:

Without the Grumbles on board, this jaunt for MPs obviously is just an extravagant junket

The tossers in the NZ Herald’s office in the Parliamentary Press Gallery missed a good angle in their report today about parliamentary travel at the public’s expense.

They seized on the fact that five MPs plus partners will jet off tomorrow on a $138,000 tour of Europe led by Parliament’s Speaker, David Carter.

They failed to note that Mr and Mrs Grumble were not among the chosen couples.

Nor did they bother to ask Alf what he thought about being overlooked – yet again – for inclusion in the annual Speaker’s Delegation that will visit France, Ireland, Northern Ireland, Poland and Germany over 14 days.

Had they bothered to inquire they would have been told that Alf was livid, especially in light of the fact a bloody Green would be going on this jaunt.

Moreover they would have been told the trip was an outrageous junket and a scandalous waste of public money.

Hopefully the reporter would not then have asked if Alf’s attitude would be different if the Grumbles had been included in the jet-setting party.

Speaker steers us away from the godless path that would have taken Christmas dinner out of our lives

Well done David Carter.

The Speaker of the House has announced that the traditional prayer he uses to open daily sittings of Parliament will remain as it is, with its Christian references.

As the Herald reports:

He undertook a very low-key consultation process with MPs and offered an alternative that would remove religious references to “Almight God” and “Jesus Christ our Lord” from the English version.

However his alternative prayer included lines in Maori – E te Atua Kaha Rawa – that translates to “Almighty God,” something Assistant Speaker Trevor Mallard described as “almost dishonest.”

As well as that, the Speaker would have included a daily acknowledgment to the local tribe Te Ati Awa.

Mr Carter would entertain no debate on an alternative; it would be either the current prayer or the alternative he proposed.

He refused any comment, clearly seeing it as a matter only for MPs.

Entitlement: the first slurp from a public trough should be a family member’s privilege

The bloody impertinence of it!

According to a report in the Herald on Sunday, the living standards of the Grumble family could be seriously eroded by plans to make it harder for politicians to hire relatives in taxpayer-funded jobs.

Dammit, we aren’t talking about incest here.

It’s nepotism. And nepotism happens to simply mean giving family members pride of place in the old boys’ network.

But it looks like some tossers want to limit the exercise of this form of favouritism, which takes blood lines into account.

The Cabinet Club here in Eketahuna North is focused more on tippling than peddling influence

Good old Tau has summed things up pretty nicely when he says Opposition attacks on National Party fundraisers, where individuals can pay for access to ministers, is Labour Party envy.

Alf is bound to say he was deeply disappointed by Labour and NZ First attacks on the Government yesterday and their claims to have proof that The Boss was involved in talks to ease citizenship restrictions for wealthy foreign investors.

As Stuff explains here, those allegations came out of reports on National Party events run throughout the country, called Cabinet Clubs.

Labour can’t have Cabinet Clubs because they are in opposition. They are bound to stay there, too.

They could try running Shadow Cabinet Clubs, of course, although Alf can’t imagine why anyone would talk to the shadowy buggers who would be the best they could provide by way of star turns.

A boisterous Opposition is noisy enough – but now they want their bawling brats in there too

If you can’t stand the heat, as they say, get out of the kitchen.

And if you don’t like the hours, get another job.

That’s Alf’s advice to Labour’s Nanaia Mahuta, who has been sounding just a tad pathetic while braying about it being unfair to expect nursing mothers to be in Parliament late into the night.

It’s good to see The Boss has climbed in on this issue, saying (here) he does not believe Parliament’s hours should be reduced to make it more “family friendly”.

Having children while in Parliament was “challenging but do-able”, he said, and it was up to each party to ensure nursing mothers had the support and time out needed.

It may well be challenging.

But more important, it was a matter of choice, presumably, that Ms Mahuta opted to become a mum as well as an MP.

Throwing up Trevor Mallard as a candidate means David Carter is a shoo-in to become Mr Speaker

Well, that’s gotta be a thoroughly untempting proposition.

The Labour Party has said it will nominate Trevor Mallard to be Speaker of the House.

They know the bid will fail.

The chances of failure became that much greater when Mallard became their choice.

Perhaps Sue Kedgley should consult the chooks before freeing them from their cages

So we can live in a cage and be turned into Tegel pieces or become free rangers and be cannibalised.

Would the chickens on a certain farm in the Wairarapa – those that are still alive, that is – vote for the Greens, if the franchise was widened to include chooks?

At first blush, they would vote Green, because the Green Party has championed their welfare for years.

In October last year – for example – the Greens joined animal rights groups in calling on the Government to reject the use of colony cages for layer hens.

At that time, the Royal New Zealand Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (RNZSPCA) and Save Animals From Exploitation (SAFE) called a press conference to announce their opposition to the cages.

Another ex-All Black has name suppressed – but that’s not how Parliament wants the game played

Are the bloody judges listening to we legislators?

Two court cases reported in the papers today have triggered this question and sparked Alf’s sense of outrage.

First, a former All Black who pleaded guilty to child assault yesterday was granted name suppression.

The Treasury forecasters say 170,000 new jobs – so who are we to quibble?

And you can throw 170,000 net new jobs into your Budget speech, Bill.

Dunno why the socialist sceptics about employment growth don’t take their silly questions to the Treasury.

The bright buggers there know where their numbers come from.

And it’s their numbers that we find in the Budget forecasts.

Labour MPs are wasting their breath, therefore, trying to find out what the Ministry for Economic Development is doing to generate those jobs.

The role of the Treasury was emphasised by none other than The Boss just the other day in answer to a parliamentary question.

The irksome Jacinda Ardern asked him if he stood by his statement “the Budget will create in the order of 170,000 jobs”?

He put her in her place real fast:

“I stand by my full statement, which was: ‘The Treasury forecasts are that the Budget will create in the order of 170,000 jobs’, and that is true.”